Have you ever ....


Have you ever wanted to cry so badly that tears wouldn't come to your eyes…?
Have you ever cried so hard that in the morning you find your pillow wet with tears..?
Have you ever been soo angry that you wanted to scream and cry in rage…?
Have you ever been so angry that you open your mouth but silence is all that you hear..?
Have you ever laughed so hard that your cheeks flushed red…and your stomach ached..?
Have you ever wanted to laugh so much that you actually looked for a reason to laugh..?
Have you ever been so sad…that you wanted to escape it all?
Have you ever been so sad that you jus plunged your self head long into tackling away all those problems..?
Have you ever felt like you were fallin down an unending abyss and nuthin could save you..?
Have you ever felt that you were falling down an unending abyss and and you didn’t want anything to save you..?
Have you ever felt so restrained that your own emotions were imprisoned in your mind..?
Have you ever felt so restrained that you wanted to let go of it all in a sudden outburst of pent up emotions..?
Have you ever felt soo jealous that you turned green with envy..?
Have you ever felt soo jealous that you didn’t quite know why exactly you were jealous..?
Have you ever been soo frustrated that all you wanted was to run away…?
Have you ever felt soo frustrated that you felt too weak to run away..?
Have you ever been so much in love that you every thing you saw reminded you of that special someone..?
Have you ever been so much in love that everything reminded you that u that there’s indeed a long way to go..?
Have you ever been so nervous that u were absolutely tongue-tied..?
Have you ever been so nervous that you jus blurted out everything that came to your mind..?
Have you ever been so scared that you ached for someone to hold you and hug you tight..?
Have you ever been so scared that someone’s touch virtually froze you to death..?
Have you ever been so upset you just wanted to talk to someone..and cry your heart out..?
Have you ever been so upset that you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk to anyone and cry your heart out..?
Have you ever been in such deep trouble that you thought it was the the end..?
Have you ever been in such deep trouble that you were living only ‘cos u knew it would end..?
And have you ever been so happy that u felt you were on cloud nine..?
And have you ever been soo happy that you wished you could forever stay where you are…a small speck on this planet admiring the silver clouds floating up above you..?

¶♥ ♥ exclusively_me dreamed at 9:59 PM


1 comments

Unwanted guests, marriage and me


There are lots of things that irritate me……and you know what the biggest thing is? Its havin bin-bulaye mehmaan (uninvited guests) at ur place ….as well as the bulaye mehmaan (as in ppl invited by ur parents some of whom I have not an iota of interest in meeting)
I mean for godssake….!!!!!! In all these years of my existence on this planet I’m sure my parents must have figured out how lazy I am …and jus how stubborn I can be……so how come they expect me to help around with the dinner preparations for the guests I just don’t wanna meet…I mean just imagine…..sitting there with astupid , silly smile plastered on your face……back straight, hands on your lap….answering every stupid, silly question with a stupid, silly smile and expected to jump to your feet everytime a guest makes a stupid, silly demand.
“Oh my…..you’ve grown soo tall..the last time I saw u, u were this small……”
The stupid ,silly smile is still on my face…and I nod my affirmation..Now exception is , that if the same thing is said by a guest I like then I’ll flash my million dollar smile and think of how cute I was back then and how much more cuter I’ve become.
“Aapki beti kitni badi ho gayi hai…(oh your daughter has grown up) we’ll soon have to find a groom for her….”..and the aunty goes on to chuckle
With another stupid , silly and falsely shy smile ,I roll my eyes..and then glance around fearfully to make sure nobody saw me…now exception is that if the same thing is said by someone I like then I’ll definitely go on to express my love of wearing exquisite expensive sarees…..and that I don’t quite mind looking for a rich ,hot, handsome and intelligent guy who’s madly in love with me …aaand who loves me for the person I am.
Now there are guests who’ll say “ Arre aapne itna sab kuch kyon banaya…” (meaning..”why did u take the trouble of preparing so much food” and then they procede to gobble it all up..with 2-3 helpings..and leaving without as much as a compliment….or a thank you….
Another thing ….why on earth am I expected to immediately bond into a friendship of a lifetime with each of my dad’s friends’ children. I mean for gods’ sake …….!!!!!!!!!!!
My dad wud say “ hey this is uncle’s daughter/son say hello…why don’t u talk among urselves…You’re more or less the same age na..” And mind you same age can mean an age difference anywhere b/w 1-10 years

Now I really feel like I’m all tied up ….and suffocating …with a scream on the verge of escaping from my gloss-bathed lips….everytime I speak in that false, false tone with sugar dripping from every word ..
Now mind u ..its not ALL the guests that bother me…ok ?…Its like I’m glad truly glad when somebody whom I really like and wud love to talk to anytime comes over ….or if im meetin that somebody after a real long time also some of my parents friends are really interesting people whom u enjoy havin a meaningful conversation with..but its those “vella” type guests that I dislike…..But ppl whom I like, I’m not at all pretentious with them…..I’m jus my same old spontaneous ,laughing self and u’ll knw..
Coming to talk of weddings , whenever I happen to a go to a wedding or any other wedding type party(I hope u get it)….I can really feel ppl eyeing me…eyeing me as a prospective bride…I mean sure ppl I’d love to get married to a rich and handsome and intelligent guy……but I can surely do without having to feel like something on display in the marriage market…I mean yeh im tall and cute aaannd single but u know what…I’m in no hurry to get married…Btw why is marriage considered to be the sole purpose of a girl's life …I mean why is “settling down” synonymous with getting married…there are loads of other things that count…)and yeh ..I do wanna get married to a rich- hot -handsome-intelligent guy…cos marriage means a truckload of lovely exquisite sarees…and lots of occasions to wear ‘em ……not to forget that I shall b the center of attention…( I love myself and am materialistic, hence proved)…..

P.S. I write this with guests in my house and me sulking …

P.S. None of the guests have got kids along. Thank goodness for that !

P.S. If you’re hot- rich- intelligent aaand single…..then……join the line sweetheart ..;)

P.S. yes ppl , yes , intelligence is a turn-on.

¶♥ ♥ exclusively_me dreamed at 9:41 PM


7 comments

Random things....


Things of note
1) getting my eyebrows threaded and tweezed and in perfect shape makes me feel wonderful people …makes me feel beautiful…………so much so that I look at the mirror every 2 seconds and admire my perfectly arc shaped brows…..
2) playing up my eyes with kajal whenever I feel like it…also makes me feel great..simply great…………..
3) combing and styling my hair every 5 mins also makes me feel happier..irrespective of the length of my hair…..i.e. to say I used to do so even when I had a boycut …!!!
Having said random things ….lemme move on to other random things…..
- did a blood test t0o ….”did” as in doing an agglutination experiment during pracs today and no not that wala blood test which u get done at a diagnostic clinic
- why doesn’t it rain ..why oh why…..?
- I don’t even have the time to go thru the newspapers….
- Aaand before u say anything lemme tell u that I am good at managing my time….
- I don’t feel like watchin movies…why don’t I feel like watchin movies..?
- I'm expecting someone’s call and tht someone wont call…damn you, ‘someone’-
Relax ppl , be patient...lemme explain....Thepreceding para in is italics cos i typed it yesterday but did not put it up here ......now its been 24 hours more or less...and well there have been quite a few changes....
-today i excitedly put on gloves in the lab ..but hey all that excitement vanished when i realised that we are to scrub and wash and clean petri plates and test tubes and beakers and conical flasks.....yes ppl yes the ones that are used to culture microbes...
-it rained ppl it rained real heavily today.....!
-i have jus enough time to glance at the headlines..
-i am still verry good at managing my time
-i watched golmaal today and knw wat.....i jus didnt like it.......
-i spoke to 'someone' :D
see see...soo much changes in jus a day but what wont change is my enthrallment with the mirror , my laziness :p aaand my being in love with myself.......

¶♥ ♥ exclusively_me dreamed at 10:00 PM


5 comments

Beautiful Day...


.Its a beautiful day …
I wish it would just stay…
The rushing breeze , I mean
Golden rays filtering through the screen
As I sit in the cool shade of trees
Sometimes its the music
A certain song…
Reminding you of the one for whom you long…
The one who came out of nowhere….
Who was always there
But escaped your eye…
Well , its not like he didn’t try….

It’s a beautiful day
I wish it would jus stay
The sunshine lights up my face
And again I think of that place
That day , that time….
Was it all part of a pantomime…..?

Its not love ..its not lust
Just a longing for someone she’s begun to trust….

She goes to him , for there is something he has to say..
Events and incidents flash through her mind…
Yes it does make sense….
The stares and glances
Were they mere chances..?
Its happens again…..
This time she does not refrain….
Their eyes meet for one fleeting instant
The spark, like an electrifying current

It’s a beautiful day….
I wish it would just stay
Now it’s the memories of another day….
With nostalgia ..they mingle and play…

She smiles and sings
And thinks of all the things…
Her face awash with
the radiant , rosy glow that it brings..
Its when the sun sets at dusk
That the feelings linger
And she’s left to wonder
Is the dream over yet,….?
But this isn’t one she’d like to forget…..

So she waits for another beautiful day,
Those moments make a home of their own
In a little corner of her mind
Where she knows what she’ll find
‘cause that corner when she visits
She finds little tid-bits
Of bitter- sweet memories
And she thinks of all those times she said ‘cheese’

A smile slowly lights up her face….
As the sun sets, only to resurface
With another beautiful day……

P.S. no ppl no , I'm NOT in love

¶♥ ♥ exclusively_me dreamed at 10:12 PM


7 comments

Its all about me..darling...!!!


Now now ....I know my fans have been waiting for another post ... Be patient people , be patient..! Haan toh , those of you who know me also know how narcissistic I can be ...and you will also vouch for the fact that I love myself ...despite all my flaws..(not that I have many hehe) I so love myself...its not like I always was like this...but its happened more recently u know...I no more wish to be like anyone else...(well atleast most of the time..)and so here is something Yashika wrote about me....now she says its almost accurate , I'll say its almost accurate ...so here it is...hold your breath people.....

After a lot of procrastination, I finally managed to get myself to sit down and write this testimonial for Priyanka. Yes, I had been procrastinating for a while now because the idea of penning down my views about this convivial person was a little overwhelming! Priyanka is a self-obsessed, 'materialistic' and jovial football-maniac, with a fascination for anything remotely 'handsome'(care to enlighten the world, dear gurl?!)
Met her in school and it's been five wonderful years of knowing her. A generous sweetheart, she's always open to others' views and advice. A budding engineer with a penchant for writing, she's a magician when it comes to words(a rare combo, I must say!). A person who will brighten any place with her mere presence, it's always a pleasure spending time with her. A balanced individual who has set definite priorities for herself …and a person with a confirmed enthrallment with the mirror! Loves posing for pics ! Put the idea of blogging into this mind of mine and also offered company in this wild pursuit! I person you can look up to for understanding and solace.Words betray me when I try to describe this wonderful individual…I'm just glad that our paths crossed once in this lifetime!
Love and prayers always… May you achieve what you desire for, cause I know you deserve it! -22nd june 2006 -05:10pm

Now I invite all those who know me to comment and compliment me and tell me wat they think about the way I am .....not that it'll change the fact that I'm in love with myself if you point out a few bad things about me...! But hey they're hardly any....ha..!

¶♥ ♥ exclusively_me dreamed at 11:10 PM


3 comments

Aaaah! Why me yaar ..why me..?


Now now... this post shall be about something that ails me soo much...to the extent that I am virtually frightened of it..ok so... dear T hold your breath.... yeh you guessed it right......its my stomach, people its my stomach...! yes...Now I think, that a stomach ache is a thing to be most feared of...forget nuclear wars ..forget global warming...forget just about everything....tummy aches are the worst of 'em all.. I shall now take this oppurtunity to highlight a few tummy aches that plague most of us.....

tummy ache #1 Now this is the ache that happens jus like that ok..without any rhyme or reason...just comes without warning .One fine day u're feeling nice and happy..and suddenly this ache comes on like a huge monster and ruins it all....so in this kinda condition all u can do is(read all I do is) crib and cry , to the extent that everyone around me really wishes that I get better,with my mom going on and on about how effective pudin hara is and how I must either take it or stop complaining.

tummy ache #2 Now this is the ache where you can actually blame your bad eating habits ok..not that mine are any good... :p..So well this causes extreme distress....along with frequent visits to the loo ..so basically all you can do is deprive yourself of all spicy, yummy indian dishes and consume only foods which I would call "baby foods" you know..all the khichdi and porridge ...minus the pickles...

tummy ache #3 Now now T be patient... I know you're waiting for this one...yeh yeh so last but not the least is the tummy ache that plagues us (read lovely young ladies) during that time of the month....So this is the time that every girl who has a bad bad tummy cramp cries and screams and throws lousy tantrums and rolls on the bed literally wanting to die and escape it all, curses everything n everyone..and just sulks.....and in extreme cases pukes and just wonders"Oh god why me... why me..?" For me...no painkiller is effective enough ...so here I am discovering my own techniques to get rid of that nasty pain....techniques which include..drinking a chilled, very chilled thums-up ....NOT takin any pudin hara(cos I always find it ineffective plus it leaves a bad taste in my mouth (read pudin hara flavored burps......eeks!)) another thing that I do is talk to T ...now T listens to me cribbing and crying..listens to me ranting about how I may not survive this severe severe pain....so this is , well, a typical conversation that T and I would have....

Me: Hello, T..?
T: hiiiiiii wats up..?
Me: aaaaaaaaaaaaah ...! why me yaar why me..? aaaaah!
T: ab kya hua....? tummy ache ? head ache..? koi aur ache? (I usu. call T and crib abt my various aches...)
Me: I have only one stomach and that too hurts like hell!
T: haan haan mere to chaar chaar stomachs hain naa..!
Me: you cow!!! (I burst out laughin, momentarily forgetting about the excruciating pain..)
Me: oh T....my stomach.....! I think I may not live to see tomorrow......it hurts thaaaaat bad...!
T: why dont u have some medicine...?
Me: (Now I have the propensity to avoid taking medicines no matter what...unless of course my mom forces a pill down my throat..) arre nahi yaar....kaun uthega aur kaun medicine lega.. chodo yaar...!! aaaah!
T: toh aas paas kisiko bolo ki medicine laa de...
Me: arre kisko boloon.....koi aas paas nahi hai..
T: where's the medicine kept?
Me: next room/ my bedside
T: OH GOD ...!!!! WHY DONT U GO HAVE SOME MEDICINE! else dont cry yaar.....(assumes a gentler tone...) look why dont u listen to your i-pod..?
Me: haaan...that might help...
Now me and all those who are affected by severe tummy aches at that time of the month , really pray that we wont have to go through it during exams ....so this is another converstaion I had with another friend of mine...
Me: hello.., ..P? aaah!
P: arre kya hua...?
Me: ab to kuch nahi ho sakta...!!!! aaah!
P: oh I see....
Me: why me yaar ..? why me ..?
P: I know....real sad..!
Me: I dont even feel like eating anything.....all these damn painkillers are sooo ineffective......
P: I know verry sad..! stomach ek usme bhi ache....(heehee)
Me n P: hahahaaaaaaa
Again i momentarily forget about my pain....

Now one thing that can ruin any trip is a bad stomach ache.....imagine sitting in the train opposite your mum....with a nasty tummy ache for company and all you can do is cry silently and give your mom I'm-your-baby-you're-supposed-to-make-this-pain-vanish-look , lest your wails and screams and tantrums become a source of entertainment for other passengers.....
And well the story goes on.....

PS: and yeah cows do have 4 stomachs ..

PS: hey T thanks yaar..for listening to me crib and cry and complain over the phone for hours about how I feel.......

PS:I write this post with my ear not feeling too well...Aaaaah!

posted by exclusively_me @ 2:32 PM 5 comments
TUESDAY, JUNE 27, 2006

PS: i accidentally deleted this post ..so guys please put up your comments again...!

¶♥ ♥ exclusively_me dreamed at 11:07 PM


1 comments