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Peaceful LIFE.

Monday, August 27, 2007


is what makes me feel grown up
is what makes me feel I have to grow up
is what makes me feel like I have grown up . A lot.

I wasn't really looking forward to my birthday.
But now that its come , there's this sort of sweet melancholy....more sweet than melancholic actually , if you know what I mean.Its the kind of feeling that I relish in a most strange way. It reminds me of the way wine tastes in my mouth. Red wine.

The winds of change have begun blowing and this time , its towards the right direction.And I'm quite happy. I can't believe what I've been waiting for , since so long is finally happening. All this time , hope was all I had. I sought solace by telling myself that if I could survive this , I could survive anything in life.Now that I can see light at the end of the tunnel , I'm just scared to be totally , completely happy. There's this slight streak of fear that makes me wonder if this might just be some kind of illusion. The winds of change also bring along something new...something I hope , I won't disappoint and I hope it doesn't disappoint me either. She tells me to just let go , to just flow freely . Why am I finding it difficult? I'm beginning to try , though . :)
Its strange , you know , when what you want , comes your way , without any efforts whatsoever...and then you start wondering if this was what you really wanted.

One thing is for sure , there's a reason behind everything that happens. And this time the reason is staring at me with such intensity , that its nothing but obvious. But I'm ok now. I crashed into that wall of glass , but I'm wiser !

This is my first birthday without a cake. Again , the taste of wine....

This birthday of mine coincided with Raksha Bandhan.....wine...the taste of wine...

I spent the evening with Kid and Yash . Thanks for everything ! You guys make me feel so special ! umm..the taste of wine..white wine ..and ..beer !!

Happy, content , a li'l intoxicated and twenty years old! Thats me ! :)



Saturday, August 04, 2007

Wedding bells ring and realizations dawn....

Contrary to what the title suggests ,
1. I'm not already married
2. I'm not newly married
3. I'm not getting married
4. And , I'm not getting married anytime in the near future either :P


As you might recollect , there was an upcoming wedding in the family. And I had a pretty good time except where food is concerned.Yes , darlings ,yes , I had to avoid eating too much to make sure my lipstick stays in place :P

Now , dont ask me how the wedding was , ok? Cos weddings are always good ! You meet people (read cute guys ) ;) , you apply make up and wear high , high heels (ouch!) !!! ;)
Ok , jokes apart , may I mention that my mum made this really awesome dress for me at HOME and I wore it at one of the occasions ! Yes , my mom rocks!!!!

And , while I was shopping for the wedding , one particular evening , I raced back and forth from one end of the city to another , and thats something I've never done before ! Its always like one part of the city at a time! And this is something I read that really is true , I guess :
"Nothing is as important as it initially seems ".*

There are soo many things I learnt . They may seem insignificant or they may sound like you've heard it so many times before , but it taught me a lot.

~ Life goes on . You can't lose hope, no matter what. Sometimes , you fight for what you want and sometimes you've just got to learn to live with the way things are .

~ I've realised , that I can be happy , and jovial inspite of everything . But it really hurts , when just one sentence , can remind you of all the things you'd like to change and all the things that you can't.

~ Getting left out (intentionally or unintentionally ), can really hurt . Very. very. badly. It twists your heart in pain and makes you cry.

~ I am not happy with my eating habits. When I'm low and sad , I eat. I mean , I binge. I eat and eat and eat. Being fat , isn't enough of a deterrent for me. Wanting to look good at the wedding also couldnt stop me.My head tells me to stop but my hands reach out for mithais and chocolates. I really dislike myself for this.

~ You know , sometimes , when things and relationships go awry , you wish you had done things differently , you wish things would get alright.** Many a times , I keep visualising things and situations in my mind differently . Many a times , I believe that in the end everything will be ok. Grudges will be forgotten , things will get sorted out. But many a times , it never happens. Many a times , its too late. I read this somewhere , I don't remember who said/wrote it , but its kinda true :

"Most of us live our lives like we've got another one in the bank"

~ I also realised that wearing realleee high heels which you've never worn before , can and will make your feet hurt and feel weirdly for daysssss to come. ;)

~ Getting a bunch of compliments from a really cute guy , can make me blush wildly. :P

~ Also , somethings are forever. Somethings never change. You may have silly fights and pointless arguments , but in the end , friends are friends.
I love all my friends dearly. Each one is special in his/her own way. Each one has taught me so many things , and maybe they're not even aware of it.Thanks , guys.

We'll miss you , Neha. Amreeka jaake don't forget us ! ;)

Have a good weekend guys!!!

P.S. Can anyone gimme some tips for my feet that feel really weird??

* Arunabh , thats soo true! Thanks!
** That doesn't mean im talking exclusively about my relationships and all , ok?? I believe its always best to make up .

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