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Peaceful LIFE.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

“I didn’t know my baby had grown up so soon...”

Went shopping today …..dunno why after that when I was seated in pizza hut I jus wanted to cry…I was suddenly frustrated and tired and fed up of everything….once again all I could think of was what kind of a screwed up life am I living by the way..?it was one of those times that I felt like crying but I knew once the tears started they wouldn’t stop…..one of those days when I felt like my self worth and self esteem had diminished…to levels that sent me down an unending abyss of frustration and sadness and a helplessness to change the things I really want to ..things that are the way they are by no fault of mine… thinking again..of all the now lost excitement for my upcoming birthday thinking…”what a wasted life..?” and with my mood off……I spoke rudely to my mom….and I jus explained my mood saying that I get restless and impatient and that I should rather shop all alone …….and then followed silence and what followed silence was
“ I didn’t know that my baby had grown up so soon...”
that’s what my mom said…and that’s something I think I’ll remember many , many years later and that’s what made me realize…..
why the hell am I spoiling things just cos of a silly mood swing..?
why on earth am I treating my mom this way…for no fault of hers..?
why oh why…?
No matter how old I get I know that I'll always need my mom…..
Need her to wake me up in the mornings..
Need her to remind me that I’ve forgotten to put on my watch..
Need her to force me to drink milk every morning….
Need her to tell me that my jeans are washed and ironed and are on the bed….
Need her to remind me to take my lab-coat along..
Need her to ask me if there’s enough petrol in the car..
Need her to ask me if I’ve charged my cell phone..
Need her to remind me to take my medicines on time..
Need her to scold me about doing things at the last moment
Need her to accompany me to the beauty parlour
Need her to tell me what haircut would suit me
Need her to come along for shopping
Need her to advice me on clothes and fabrics
Need her to force me to help around the house…
Need her to remind me about that book ive got to return
Need her to reassure me that things are gonna be fine
Need her for the great food she cooks…
Need her to oil my hair
Need her to cover me with a blanket when im fast asleep
Need her to tell me whether or not I look fat in that navy blue skirt..
Need her to tell me that proper sleep is important..
Need her to hug me and cuddle me when im crying
Need her to force me to eat well
Need her to teach me how to cook
Need her to give me all the advice she gives me
Need her to tell me that I need to be courteous and polite..
Need her to protect me
Need her to tell me what's right and what's wrong
And most of all I need her affection ..her unconditional love
Happy friendships day mummy…!
Cos you’re the one who’s been there with me right from day 1…holding my hand …teaching me how to walk and run…………and now I know that I was trying to run away from you ..in the wrong direction….but im here…running back into your arms…….!!!
The sweetest thing is that she first said happy friendship's day to me..after observing me and wondering why on earth was I behaving the way I was....
I love you , mummy...!I really do!!!


The Girl

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