Splash of colours on the canvas of my life

The past year...

2009-09-07T23:40:00.005+05:30

...has been a roller coaster ride in the true sense. After a hiatus of more than a year(OMG!) , I have much to blog about and a single post just wont do. I shall, in a series of posts , paint out the changing , merging shades that coloured my life in the past year.As they say , change is the only constant. And changed I have , in subtle , yet profound ways. But I'm happier. I'm more at peace.And that is what matters.

Conquer the tempest
that rages within,
Explore , endure , excel and you will know...
Its the battle that teaches
more than the win...

All I want ...

2008-06-23T18:31:00.003+05:30

Why does life have to be all about making choices?

I , for one , am not interested in compromises.

I want it all. And I want it my way.I do not want to let go and I will not let go of all that is precious and all that is not- too- precious as well.

Call it die-hard optimism plus sheer tenacity or just some illogical thoughts of a headstrong 20 year old.

All I want is everything. Is that really too much to ask for?

2008-06-14T23:57:00.005+05:30

Life in general , and relationships in particular , are so complicated.

Sigh.

Unforgettable

2008-04-14T21:19:00.004+05:30

We were standing at opposite corners of the room.

Our eyes met.

He waved at me , asking if I had cleared the group discussion round.

I nodded and in gestures , asked him the same. He nodded too.

His face was shining.
The face of hope.
Of beating the odds.
Of happiness.

I was truly happy for him.
Although he didn't clear the next round I will never forget his face at that moment.
I think of that particular moment , of emotions frozen in time..and a slight twinge of sadness dissolves in that lake of beautiful emotions.

That indescribably beautiful moment,special in an inexplicable way is something I'll never forget...

I wish he'd made it.
But my heart tells me there are better things waiting for him.

Me & Dad : Part 1

2007-10-29T21:02:00.000+05:30

Guest (warm smile) : So , Priyanka how old are you?

Dad (bright effusive smile) : She turned 19 in September.

Me (apathetic look of that's my Dad for you ) : I turned 20 in August.

Guest : eyes wide open , looks at my dad in part amusement , part shock

Dad : uh..haha .. er..jus trying to hide her age...shaadi bhi toh karani hai

Me : * I roll my eyes *
WHHAATTT IS MY DAD TALKING?!
* I am still rolling my eyes *

Its been sooo long!

2007-09-27T22:24:00.000+05:30

I WILL update soon.

I promise myself.

I've got loads to write about.

I just don't have the time.

20

2007-08-27T20:30:00.000+05:30

20
is what makes me feel grown up
is what makes me feel I have to grow up
is what makes me feel like I have grown up . A lot.

I wasn't really looking forward to my birthday.
But now that its come , there's this sort of sweet melancholy....more sweet than melancholic actually , if you know what I mean.Its the kind of feeling that I relish in a most strange way. It reminds me of the way wine tastes in my mouth. Red wine.

The winds of change have begun blowing and this time , its towards the right direction.And I'm quite happy. I can't believe what I've been waiting for , since so long is finally happening. All this time , hope was all I had. I sought solace by telling myself that if I could survive this , I could survive anything in life.Now that I can see light at the end of the tunnel , I'm just scared to be totally , completely happy. There's this slight streak of fear that makes me wonder if this might just be some kind of illusion. The winds of change also bring along something new...something I hope , I won't disappoint and I hope it doesn't disappoint me either. She tells me to just let go , to just flow freely . Why am I finding it difficult? I'm beginning to try , though . :)
Its strange , you know , when what you want , comes your way , without any efforts whatsoever...and then you start wondering if this was what you really wanted.

One thing is for sure , there's a reason behind everything that happens. And this time the reason is staring at me with such intensity , that its nothing but obvious. But I'm ok now. I crashed into that wall of glass , but I'm wiser !

This is my first birthday without a cake. Again , the taste of wine....

This birthday of mine coincided with Raksha Bandhan.....wine...the taste of wine...

I spent the evening with Kid and Yash . Thanks for everything ! You guys make me feel so special ! umm..the taste of wine..white wine ..and ..beer !!

Happy, content , a li'l intoxicated and twenty years old! Thats me ! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !!!

Wedding bells ring and realizations dawn....

2007-08-04T19:08:00.000+05:30

Contrary to what the title suggests ,
1. I'm not already married
2. I'm not newly married
3. I'm not getting married
4. And , I'm not getting married anytime in the near future either :P

:D

As you might recollect , there was an upcoming wedding in the family. And I had a pretty good time except where food is concerned.Yes , darlings ,yes , I had to avoid eating too much to make sure my lipstick stays in place :P

Now , dont ask me how the wedding was , ok? Cos weddings are always good ! You meet people (read cute guys ) ;) , you apply make up and wear high , high heels (ouch!) !!! ;)
Ok , jokes apart , may I mention that my mum made this really awesome dress for me at HOME and I wore it at one of the occasions ! Yes , my mom rocks!!!!

And , while I was shopping for the wedding , one particular evening , I raced back and forth from one end of the city to another , and thats something I've never done before ! Its always like one part of the city at a time! And this is something I read that really is true , I guess :
"Nothing is as important as it initially seems ".*

There are soo many things I learnt . They may seem insignificant or they may sound like you've heard it so many times before , but it taught me a lot.

~ Life goes on . You can't lose hope, no matter what. Sometimes , you fight for what you want and sometimes you've just got to learn to live with the way things are .

~ I've realised , that I can be happy , and jovial inspite of everything . But it really hurts , when just one sentence , can remind you of all the things you'd like to change and all the things that you can't.

~ Getting left out (intentionally or unintentionally ), can really hurt . Very. very. badly. It twists your heart in pain and makes you cry.

~ I am not happy with my eating habits. When I'm low and sad , I eat. I mean , I binge. I eat and eat and eat. Being fat , isn't enough of a deterrent for me. Wanting to look good at the wedding also couldnt stop me.My head tells me to stop but my hands reach out for mithais and chocolates. I really dislike myself for this.

~ You know , sometimes , when things and relationships go awry , you wish you had done things differently , you wish things would get alright.** Many a times , I keep visualising things and situations in my mind differently . Many a times , I believe that in the end everything will be ok. Grudges will be forgotten , things will get sorted out. But many a times , it never happens. Many a times , its too late. I read this somewhere , I don't remember who said/wrote it , but its kinda true :

"Most of us live our lives like we've got another one in the bank"

~ I also realised that wearing realleee high heels which you've never worn before , can and will make your feet hurt and feel weirdly for daysssss to come. ;)

~ Getting a bunch of compliments from a really cute guy , can make me blush wildly. :P

~ Also , somethings are forever. Somethings never change. You may have silly fights and pointless arguments , but in the end , friends are friends.
I love all my friends dearly. Each one is special in his/her own way. Each one has taught me so many things , and maybe they're not even aware of it.Thanks , guys.

We'll miss you , Neha. Amreeka jaake don't forget us ! ;)

Have a good weekend guys!!!

P.S. Can anyone gimme some tips for my feet that feel really weird??

* Arunabh , thats soo true! Thanks!
** That doesn't mean im talking exclusively about my relationships and all , ok?? I believe its always best to make up .

...and I smile a little smile

2007-07-21T21:24:00.000+05:30

"Mummy , can I please buy this shiny nail polish ?"

That little girl asked her mother.

For a second , there was nostalgia ...

I thought of another little girl...

Time flies . Things change .

...And we grow up .

I love you , Mummy.

One year old !

2007-06-26T21:50:00.000+05:30

Yay !!! My blog just turned one today !!!
Happy birthday dear blog !!!

A small digression (but not quite , really) :I have this tendency to remember dates... you know.. dates as in....umm ..like...you know...
argh! You get it , dont you??

Like , for example , exactly a year back , I had come back from Shimla.... and OMG ..... as soon as I landed in Delhi.... man !!!!! It was as if someone had just tossed me into an oven....
After enjoying Shimla's lovely weather, the heat in Delhi hit me so bad ...I actually thought I might be having fever !!

Then , on our way back to Jaipur...me being the foodie that I am...I was looking forward to stopping at Haldiram's at the Delhi -Jaipur highway...!
So what if it was just 8 am.?????
But ...alas... Haldirams was closed ...!! Can u believe that??
I was totally heart-broken !

Finally , at 8 am , we had no other option but to go to McDonald's....!!!

I finally reached Jaipur...my ear aching and the heat getting increasingly unbearable , the ac not making much of a difference.

That very night , back at home in Jaipur , I wrote my first post.

That very night , I had this weird dream ...and well , it wasnt totally inexplicable .
I could figure out and interpret the hidden meanings.

Man , 1 year has passed by in a flash!!!

I've got to know so many people through this blog. Its wonderful , you know.

A lot of things have changed and a lot are still the same....

Sigh...

I think..I've changed..in a few, subtle ways...
My outlook and perspective on a lot of things have changed.
I've learnt a lot of lessons...some of them , in very hard ways.

So enough for now. I'm sleepy.
No , no ..Ive got to study.
The heat is too much. I need to sleep..I mean study ! Argh!!!
Anyway , have a nice week ..or whatever is left of it...lol!

And yes , Happy birthday once again , my dear blog!
Here's to many more posts about me , moi , myself!!!

Cheers!!!

:D

Exam time eccentricities

2007-06-08T19:14:00.000+05:30

Hello people!!!
I know , I know I havent updated since ages...but believe me I had my reasons!
Reason no. 1 being exams and reason no.2 also being exams!!

Okay , so I was all set to take my exams from the 1st of june , but riots and disturbances in my part of the country resulted in exams being postponed and your highness' moods crazily swinging back and forth , from being happy one moment to getting totally pissed off the other.
So , finally , everything has calmed down...and well , I am having to sit for my exams...which by the way, had been indefinitely postponed !
Sadly , this indefinite period lasted for a week which was both , a good and a bad thing.

Sigh.

I don't think I can ever forget the zillion phone calls we made and non-stop text messaging we did , trying to contact everyone and anyone who had the slightest inkling of when the next exam would be held.

But study , we must.

I'm doing most of my serious studying at night.
And after 2 minutes of intense studying (blank staring , actually ) , I absolutely need to take a 2 hour break to get refreshed.
Yes , honey , thats me!

So what do I do?
This is what I do , priority wise:

1) I indulge in doing absolutely nothing at all.

2) I , purposefully , walk across my room , at 2 am , proceed to my dressing table and then I apply makeup!
Yes , that's right.That's exactly what I do. I will go on to use all sorts of eye shadows in all sorts of bizzare manner.And whats the excuse I give myself?
"There's a wedding in the family. I need to perfect different looks right from now.Hence the daily practice."

3)Earlier, another thing I used to do a lot was eat at all times, 12am , 1 am , 3 am.I have stopped.There's a wedding in the family . I need to get in shape.

Also , just as I got to know that my exams have been postponed , I go shopping.The reason being:
There's a wedding in the family.I need to look great.I just have to find the perfect dress for myself.Hence , the shopping spree.

The other day , I start feeling sleepy at 1 a.m .
So , I tell myself :

"Look , if you're sleepy , you cant concentrate and keeping the lights on , you'll only be wasting electricity. And , we must save electricity.We absolutely MUST save electricity. So switch off the lights. (and hit the sack)"

And I ACTUALLY , turned off the lights and slept!!!!!
I chuckle to myself whenever I think of this.

One thing my Dad always tells me is:

"Look , you need to sleep for atleast 7 hrs , you know. Only then will you feel fresh and study well.Only then will you be able to attempt your questions well. "

And , my Dad , has been telling me this same thing with great conviction right from the time I had my 10th grade board exams. Therefore , in the rare occasion that I give up on my beauty sleep, the only thing that bothers me is :

"OMG , what if I fall asleep in the middle of the exam??? What then?? Who's gonna wake me up???"

Another thing of great importance and even greater consequence:I am, most of the time , incapable of hearing alarms.I may set a zillion alarms , I may ask a zillion people to call and wake me up , but no, I am my Daddy's girl , I will not sacrifice my sleep time.Hence , all kinds of alarms blare out at blood-curdling decibel levels at all kinds of ungodly hours .
Result :Everyone in my house is up and awake.

Everyone except sleeping beauty.

There's a wedding in the family , I cant let my light dark circles transform into dark dark circles.I absolutely need my beauty sleep.

But , I'm a great friend. If you have me as your friend , you're lucky. Really.The other day , Yash calls me up saying that she absolutely has to wake up at 3 am. I say " Done baby ! I'll be studying till 3 am so no probs." What I forgot was that my 2nd exam as well had been postponed and hence , I wouldnt stay up that late.

But , no my friends , I actually stay up till 3 am and wake up Yash.
So what if, for timepass till 3am , I tortured sane , unsuspecting people into a tedious, 3 - hour long sms conversations with me ?

I am a loyal friend.

Basically , through this post , all I'm trying to say is:
I'm a lazy bum . I need my beauty sleep. But Yash , I woke you up.
I'll be looking forward to the treat. :D

P.S. The " wedding in the family" is actually gonna take place after almost 2 months.

P.P.S. Yash , you're a darling. I'll get my much deserved treat, of that I'm sure.
But , the next time you ask me to wake you up at some ungodly hour , please also remember to ask me if I do have any reason to be awake at that time.
;)

Can't afford to lose...

2007-05-16T20:11:00.000+05:30

Life's toughest battles are those ...

..which rage on within us...in the battlefields of our minds....

..against our own selves...

....and these are the battles we can't afford to lose....

Wah Wah Jaipur !

2007-05-06T20:28:00.000+05:30

This is a message that I receieved on orkut from one of those people who "want to make frandshap with me" :

WAH WAH Jaipur...
Woh Hazratganz ka sama, woh Chowk ki chaat,
Woh Mini Mahal ki ice cream, Wah usme thi kuch baat.
Woh Ram Asrey ki mithai, woh Madhur Milan ka dosa,
Woh Marksmen ki pav bhaji aur Sharma ka samosa.
Woh rikshaw ka saffer, woh Nimbu Park ki hawa,
Woh Buddha Park ki raunak aur Dilkusha ka sama.
Woh January ki kadake ki sardi, woh baarishon ke mahiney,
Woh garmi ki chuttiyan, jab chute te they paseeney.
Woh holi ki masti, woh doston ki toli,
Woh Janpath ka mahol, woh Gomti ki leheren,
Woh BoatClub ka nazara, Wah uske kya kehene.
Woh Aminabad ki galiyan , woh IT ki ladkiyan.
Woh Novelty ki balcony aur woh Bajpayee ki pooriyan
Woh Aryan ka Chinese,woh Roverse ka styl
Woh school ki life aur woh College ki Zindagi,
Woh Polytechnic ka rasta aur woh Canteen ki patties ,.
Woh Bhootnath ki market,wo highway ke dhabe
Wo Puraniya chauraha , wo Charbagh station………
Itna sab keh diya par dil kehta hai aur bhi kuch kahoon
Wo shehar hain mera apna, jiska naam hai
J a i p u r

Reading this message made me think "Either I'm an ignorant fool or this guy probably hasnt even heard of Jaipur"....
...because , the funny thing is I haven't really heard of most these places . The 2-3 places that sound familiar aren't really part of the main city.I mean is this guy even talking of Jaipur????
Charbagh ?Gomti ? Boat club???AMINABAD??????
Man!!!

Whatever happened to The City Palace , The Amber Fort , Nahargarh????

Jal Mahal , Chokhi-dani , Moti Doongri, Albert Hall ,Hawa Mahal , Statue circle?????

Bapu Bazaar or even M.I. road for Godssake!?!

This guy cannot be from Jaipur ....that was perhaps just another attempt by just another stranger to impress me and "win my frandshap" !!!

P.S. I haven't been to all the aforementioned places (except M.I road & Bapu Bazaar and all shopping areas , of course ) since ages!!!!! (read nearly 8 years or so!!!)
BUT I love my city!!!! I really do!

P.P.S. - The Albert Hall which is around 120 years old has been closed down to the public for a year due to renovations and all...
And I got to know AFTER it got closed down ...AND the last time I went there was in 1998 !!!

Where was I all these years?!?!?!?

Correction : I just spoke with Ankna , who by the way is now living in Mumbai , and she told me that the road opposite Vidhan Sabha was sometime back named "Janpath".
Ahem err.. ok. *cough* .

Change

2007-04-26T08:21:00.000+05:30

I am surprised at the extent to which the mere whispers of probable , profound change completely and violently shook me up. During those few moments , my heart beat faster , my mouth went dry.

I'm scared , I'm tense.

I'm just hoping those whispers dont turn into reality.
I'm praying that the ice-cold fingers of those whispers do not reach me , do not clutch me in its iron grip and uproot me from where I am only to cruelly toss me into someplace new and alien.

Numbness is slowly setting in.

You've Changed...

2007-04-21T20:19:00.000+05:30

She was meeting up with some friends at a lounge and turned around to find a batch-mate from school standing just behind her.

Hi Mansi.. How are you?

Hi Priyanka !!I'm fine and how about you?

Oh , I'm good..So , what are you doing? Heard about the reunion?

Ya , 16th june it is , no?

Yes.

.
.
.

Priyanka , you've changed...

She smiled a smile she'd never smiled before and said

I have ?

It wasnt really a question...
She only wished she'd asked her "In what way?"

But maybe she already knows...

The Reason for Being & The Purpose of Life

2007-04-14T20:59:00.000+05:30

I don't exactly remember when was the first time I'd pondered over the purpose of life but I do remember having my first open discussion about God and life back in 10th grade.

A lot of the questions that would flood my mind were:
What is the purpose of life?
What, after I finish my education and start working? Will there still be anything left to strive for?
Why are certain things the way they are , for no fault of mine?

They say everything happens for a reason.This is something I never really gave much thought to ,during my intermittent ponderings, trying to demystify the purpose of life.But I guess its true.

There has to be and most of the times there is, a reason behind the lives that we lead , the things that we do and the people that we are.I refuse to believe that the only purpose of our lives is the perpetuation of the human race.It is something deeper , it has to be.

There also has to be a reason behind why I'm leading the life that I am and why you're leading yours.I refuse to believe our particular lives have been randomly assigned to each of us.

These past two years there have been times when I wished I could just walk away.There were times when I was jovial and laughing as always , on the outside but on the inside there was only one resonant question that made me crumble and filled me with helplessness - "Why me?"
But I've changed, in ways that are not very obvious, I've grown and evolved.
Its a simple thing:
If there's a reason behind a certain idea or thing , then it makes sense.

Its a small , maybe even childish, example of the events of Thursday.
On Thursday , I shampoo-ed and conditioned my hair, wore a sober dress, met with namru and we decided to take a car , checked my cell phone to find 5 missed calls from M.I called him at just the right time to make it to an important seminar where I came across this cutie-pie-speckie guy!
The point is , there was a reason why all that had happened , happened else-

If I and M hadnt exchanged phone nos. the previous day I wouldnt be writing this post in the first place.

If I hadnt shampoo-ed my hair i'd have looked not-too-great.

If I'd worn a low rise pair of jeans with a T-shirt having a cheeky statement stamped across it, I'd have looked completely out of place.

If I'd checked my cell phone even 5 minutes later , I would have missed out on the event.

At that time it seemed like a series of coincidences but it took me a little while to realise and appreciate the fact that there was a reason behind everything.

There are also times , when I terribly miss Lagos and I wish we had continued staying there but I know that I would never be the kind of person I am and that I would've been blissfully ignorant, had it not been for the experiences that I've had in India.

There are a couple of other examples as well but they're too personal for me to blog about them just now.
I realise that although I'm nearing the end of my post I still am no closer to demystifying the purpose of life but I now truly believe that there has to be a reason behind everything and there is a purpose of life.

P.S. -- The cutie pie guy wasn't supposed to be at the event in the first place .It just so happened that his boss couldn't make it.Therefore , I truly , truly believe that the reason why all those things happened on Thursday was , so that we could meet! ;)

Random things - Part 3

2007-04-10T21:22:00.000+05:30

The reason i havent updated since such a long time is - YASH. Yes , so please direct all hate mail her way!
Anyway , since my last post , a lot has happened..a lot has changed...!
1)Yash was in town a few days back. We had a LOT of fun talking about school days and everything that has followed...!

2) I have drastically cut down time spent online.

3) These past few days i have been sleeping for 3-5 hrs each night!

4)Im in love with organic chemistry , AGAIN!

5)I have been thinking a lot about the purpose of life and if there really is any reason behind things.

4)I have been having a splitting headache every other afternoon....

5) This heat is too much for me to bear!!!

6) I'm trying to figure out why exactly am i having splitting headaches...cos im not skipping meals...i consume bournvita and cornflakes everyday..and u knw what they say

"Tan ki shakti , man ki shakti , bournvita...!!!"

"Naye kellogg's cornflakes , ab iron shakti ke saath...dimaag chale tez , bahut tez"

I love cornflakes and they're fat free!
Maybe , im thinking to much about the purpose of life and all that.
Maybe i was sleeping too less the past week....but hey! although im trying to continue the trend ....sleep is catching up on me...!
So , it has to be the heat....yup! when its 8 a.m and the temperature is 32 degrees celsius , you cannot expect the day ahead to be like a day spent on the Swiss Alps.

Anyway , tuna jus called....heres the conversation we had :

Me : hey-lo...

t : hi...

me : oh god!!

t : what ?

me : im having a splitting headache...since morning....!!

t : what is wrong with you? whenever i call u're having a tummy ache or a headache...baat nahi karni toh seedhe seedhe bol do...ok?

me:oh shut up

t : get urself checked...go to a doc u silly woman!

me: oh pleees...headaches toh har kisiko hote hain....and tummy aches also..im not the only one..

t : har kisiko headache hafte mein 3 baar nahi hote..

me : wrong...hafte mein teen baar nahi...hafte bhar!! hee ha ha!

t :take some medicine...

me : dont be stupid! by the time the medicine works the headcahe will be gone anyway..
.
.
.
t : mujhe cake khana hai..

me : toh khao

t : toh you bake me one

me : hmm....i will...i will...

t :and btw do call me up sometimes..

me :hmm...i will....i will..when my headache's gone i will...

t : hmm....that means never

me :how cheap!

t : ok..that means you'll call when you're 80
but hey that's not possible..at that age you'll be dealin with a number of other pains as well...

me: get lost...you rude female!!!

Since i live by dates...i.e to say i remember the dates of lots of things....for ex:today the 11th of april , 3 years back , i was on a train from coimbatore to agra , a trip which included some 40 school girls , 2 teachers and A LOT OF FUN!!!!!!
I still have the itinerary...and that trip was a very memorable one...There was also a lot that happened apart from fun...!
I will definitely blog about it sometime soon.
The year 2004 totally rocked!
Anyway , here's a random pic...there's this barista logo fused with the lights of the buildings across the road..i kinda like the pic ..Had clicked it when I and yash had met up..

Anyway , have a nice time and miss me..!

Breaking news !

2007-03-25T01:25:00.000+05:30

March 25th 2007 , India

Exclusively_she and Yash have been gripped by irritation , crankiness and an inexplicable desire to just be left alone.There is a reported 60% fall in day to day energy levels coupled with an excessive urge to browse through old pics and ponder about the purpose of life .

Exclusively_ she , with her vast and unquestionable expertise in the field of tummy aches, has denied any underhand involvement of PMS although , in a conversation with Yash , the transcript of which is in exclusive possession of the author , confessed that it just might be PMS.The role of the same is being investigated amidst heavy controversy and debate.
In an exclusive interview with the author , exclusively_ she and her team of experts at the WPO (Weird People's Organisation) , said that these symptoms would , under other circumstances, be attributed to the approaching exams and the lack of time being spent at the study table.. , but in this case its their presently next-to-zero social life and lack of time being spent at their official hang out (name of lounge withheld on request).

An unnamed official from the WPO said that this fever of lethargy and laziness strongly indicates a prolonged (read 3 day) abstinence from a hearty breakfast of toast+scrambled eggs+cornflakes .But whether or not their laziness is an inborn trait remains a debatable issue.

Another close friend reveals "Nice manners , good behaviour and sweet hellos have been thrown out the window with a vengeance. They are the new age angry young girls. We have been trying hard to instill some sense into their heads but it seems like they've locked the windows to their heads and lost the keys..."

It may be safely assumed that their work outs are not working out since they are running low on endorphins , not to forget the adrenaline or rather the lack of it.

Currently their list of do's and dont's includes :

Do's include:

1) Avoiding home cooked food; increased dosage of junk food.
2) Sleeping 12 hrs a day (thats not a new thing!).
3) Day dreaming and blank staring.
4) Going on movie watching marathons.
5) Consuming unimaginable amounts of coca-cola.
6) Letting laziness take over their body , mind and soul (that's definitely not a new thing!).
7) Giving more attention to the texture , colour and size of leaves of the tree outside their window than their study notes.

Dont's include:

1) Not studying developmental changes of amphibian & lizard embryos just before going to bed in order to avoid nightmares.
2) Not letting blood-curdling decibel levels of 10 consecutive alarms disturb them and at the same time doing their bit of good by gettin the rest of the neighbourhood up and awake at 4.30 am.
3) Not letting the rebuke of friends whose status on messenger says "Busy" affect their
exemplary exasperation- evoking eccentricities.

No drug or vaccine has yet been developed for the same but experts suggest the following precautions:

1) If you are not a member of WPO , then keep distance.
2) Do not interrupt their all important day dreaming sessions.
3) Do not call them at ungodly hours.
4) Do not expect your calls to be returned.
5) If you see us in tears , a hug ( and even a blank cheque ;)) will do. No preaching required.
6) People with a tendency to start preaching shall receive a karara thapad .
7) In event of an overdose of their eccentricities, stay away till you have recuperated .(A blank cheque will keep them away and hence speed up your recovery.)
8)Do not panic.This too shall pass!

Officials have been trying to assuage fans and friends of the duo but it seems like there is still some time to go before things improve.Meanwhile , we will be getting you the latest updates live from India . People privileged to be on their messenger list shall be informed personally.

Statutory warning : Talking/chatting too much with the two is injurious to health and /or wealth.

Disclaimer: This is purely an exaggerated figment of the author's hyperactive imagination and bears resemblance only to the lives of Yash and the owner of this blog.

Of a special someone , thunderstorms and threaded eyebrows!

2007-03-13T22:21:00.000+05:30

I haven't updated since almost 3 weeks....but if ..only if you happened to check my blog on saturday evening you would know that i did actually write up a post.I was missing a lot of people ..a lot of things...a lot of places.... wasnt feeling very good.....and miraculously..that very evening one of the persons id mentioned in that post called me up.
It lifted my spirits instantly ...it made my day(or rather what was left of it!)...and i promptly took off that post the very next day!
So part of this post is about that certain someone....!
I had last spoken to this certain someone during diwali....followed by a short conversation in december and after that ...just a grand total of 3-4 text messages exchanged last month .That's it. Nothing after that.
Absolutely nothing.
And realising the same made me sad...
And when i recieved the call on saturday night...i was absolutely delighted!
This certain someone(CS) , has been my laughter buddy!
CS is the only one who comes verry close to being inluvwithlaughter!
CS is the one who understands and laughs at my jokes.
CS is the one with whom i can communicate through missed calls!
CS is the one who ..i can go on and on and on....
But CS is soon gonna be in town....
I just cannot wait!
For more info on who CS is , whether CS is hot or not, single or not .....all i can say at the moment is - Wait for my next post!

Coming to other things, yesterday , for no particular rhyme or reason , the evening suddenly turned very very windy ( 60 kmph) , it started raining very heavily .My folks were out ...and when they came back i was told that billboards & hoardings were damaged and some trees uprooted!
Today , while i was in another part of the city....my folks call up to say " hey theres rain and hail (yes thats right hailstones!) and its jus very windy..be careful!" Now , i was surprised esp. since it definitely wasnt raining where i was..and there definitely wasnt any hail vail..there !
Now , while i was away , my mum and bro decide to go out in the garden and collect the hailstones that had fallen.. Dont ask why cos i have NO idea why they did it...! Maybe it was so that they could show it to me!
Anyway , heres a pic !

Now dont even ask me why I clicked that pic !

Moving on to other things....i have realised that there are people who are outright rude and have the nerve to say the most annoying things over and over again. People who are so thick-skinned they refuse to catch the subtle hints and the not-so-subtle ones that you drop .One such person is Miss . Cheeky.

Just for the record , i'd like to mention that i have very nice eyebrows, almost perfectly arc-shaped, i dont even know why i get them threaded!

For the guys who dont know (Tch tch!), girls usually get their eyebrows threaded/tweezed at a beauty salon.We take pains to look good , you know!

So , Im sitting here talkin to U and N , and miss cheeky has to butt in ...and say,
miss cheeky : .....
me: ~raise my eyebrows~
cheeky:.........
me : what?
cheeky: ~points a finger at her eyebrows ~
I think its high time you get your eyebrows threaded!

YES , THIS is what that cheeky , thick-skinned girl says to me.....and she's said that not once , not twice but thrice ever since i've known her which happens to be not very long!

This girl has the nerve and audacity to tell ME to get my brows threaded and tweezed! HOW DARE SHE!
The girl whose eyebrows look like a 2yr old tried to draw 2 rod-straight bold lines with a useless black felt tip pen , has the nerve to speak to me like this!

You young (fool of a) lady! If i have my brows threaded 5 nanoseconds before i meet you , theres no way ill run back to the salon 2 nanoseconds after you've made one of your utterly asinine remarks!

I dont even know why i have been polite and courteous enough to ignore you all THREE times.
Next time you decide to open your big mouth , i have a good mind to let my anger take over and and give you an earfull!

Shampoo , you hair for a change, its not a bad idea you know!

Haul your lazy self to a beauty salon , for a change!

Get yourself waxed, for a change!

Try to throw away those stinky sandals and buy a nice pair of trainers , for a change!

Try giving your rod-straight brows some shape , any shape , for a change!

Get lost , for a change!!!
Huh!

Thats enough i guess.....
I'll let you know if miss cheeky is improving or whether i am soon going to have a chance to lose my cool....!
Also , next post is gonna be all about CS...
Till then , have a good week and miss me!!!

Of extreme melodrama , histrionics , theatrics and tummy aches!!

2007-02-21T16:37:00.000+05:30

Today....today , ppl today i would have happily given up my life....yes..thats right...i now can say very confidently that
tummy aches rule my life!
why? why me?????
Why not that horrible , super-pretentious , obnoxious girl? why me?
All u girls with zero period cramps - GET LOST!
and all of u guys --- i dont even wanna talk abt you! HUH!
excruciating tummy ache + cramps + scorching jaipur sun = a defeated , dejected me

Today i reach namru's place (late as usual) and chanky were already waiting .
I come wearing one of my favorite salwar kurtas ---

me :~big silly grin ~

chanky: ~returns big silly grin ~

namru: ~looks stupidly at 2 big silly gals with big silly grins plastered on their big silly faces~

namru: itni jaldi aa gayi?

me:~big silly grin ~

chanky: ab chal jaldi chal

namru: gaadi band kar aur aa dio pe baith ja

me: nahi nahi not today ~i sharmao and start batting my lashes~

I know , I know , I am such a namuna...

namru : kyon kya hua?

me: aaj salwar kurta pehna hai..car mein chal....

namru/chanky: abbe chup kar...heroine mat ban...jaldi aa

me: ~big silly grin~ ok

I then take my stuff ...check the handbrake, the lights ,gears...hmmm...satisfied i lock the car...and proceed....

me :~ hands flailing in all directions, i start runnin~....ruko ruko....mera mobile car mein reh gaya
I run , unlock the car , take my cell phone and run back to namru n chanky .

me:haan ab chalo....sab le liya

How silly i was...how naïve...how unwise.....
sab le liya huh!
How was i to know that the excruciating , horrible , terrifying , nightmarish tummy ache #3 would strike......evoking cries of "OMG why me? why me?"
I forgot painkillers...yes....i did .
Tummy ache #3 descends and leaves me clutching my tummy , goin.....OMG the painkiller that i always carry how ...how could i forget abt it?????
Hey bhagwan ...yeh kya ho gaya????
No , no...pls pls let this pain vanish.......
From one place to another....having considered and dismissed thoughts of goin for a movie..we finally land up at GT....for those of you who dont know....GT's the place which has everything frm shoppers stop to McDonald's to Big Shoppers and CCD and blah blah blah ..with mocha across the road...
I am still clutchin my stomach in pain.....but sumhow i still manage to comb my hair....check my self in the mirror and look stunning... ha!
After goin here n there....we finally end up at McDonald's...

me: aaaaaaah!!!! kya karun main...kya karoon??????

chanky: sab theek ho jayega ~melodramatic hindi movie ishtyle~

me: i think i may not live to see tomorrow....

chanky: shakes her head.....~again melodramatic...hema malini ishtyle ~

namru: ~lookin away (read lookin at some hunk)..~.thinkin"phir shuru ho gaye dono ke dono!!!"

Yes ppl yes...when me and chanky get together...we automatically switch over to the super melodramatic mode..but namru obviously lacks this quality which only a talented (read crazy in the head) chosen few possess...!!
~namru sings crazy kiya re~

Screw dheela hai re!

Me and chanky then proceed to blackmail namru into buying us a coke and burgers...

namru : haan haan roz main hi treat deti rahoon na? khud to kabhi kuch khilao mat

me & pri: arre khilaya toh tha...yaad kar 6-7 months pehle kisne 20 bucks ki pepsi pilayi thi????? bol bol
namru: ~frustrated......head held in hands.....cursin the moment she met us .....mistaking us to be the shy , timid , silent kind....ha! ~

~blackmail continues~
~histrionics continue in full fervour~

me: aaah.....oh god....!!!!

chanky:~ holds my hand~.....sabr karo sab theek ho jayega..... (i loove bollywood!)

namru: chup ho jao dono ke dono....
lati hoon coke , burgers ,sab laati hoon.. khush?

Me and chanky wink at each other...
When namru's outta earshot ,
me:chanky are we really nasty?....hamesha namru se paise nikalvate hain...

~extreme melodrama...theatrical behaviour....total bollywood ishtyle~
chanky: kyaaaa???? kya kaha tumne...ek baar phir kehna

me:hum bahut nasty hain kya?.....always making namru the butt of our jokes

chanky: ~indignant look~ tumne aisa soch bhi kaise liya ki hum nasty nahi hain?

~uncontrollable laughter~
(c'mon im inluvwithlaughter !!)
Namru comes with the tray ..

me:coca-cola!!
I grab the cola....convinced that it will cure my tummy ache....
--silence--
.
.
.
--munch-munch--
.
.
.
--silence--

Food finished......and our crazy talk begins.
me: aaaaaah!!!!!! agar mujhe ek aur coke nahi mila toh i may not live to see tomorrow ...

chanky:namru yaaar....jaa ek coke le aa...

namru: ~glares at us~....ghar jaa rahi hoon main ....tang kar rakha hai dono ke dono ne

me&chanky: theek hai chali jaa ..kaun mana kar raha hai?...bas wallet chod jaa!

me & chanky:~ we burst into peals of hysterical laughter that make ppl stare at us... ~

namru: tum dono kabhi serious kyon nahi hote???

me & pri: abbe chup kar!

Basically , the things we say to namru are:
1)treat de de!
2)treat de de!
3)treat de de!
4)treat de de!
5)treat de de!

Things namru says to us:
1)dimaag mat khao
2)aaj paise nahin hai
3)hamesha main hi treat doon kya?
4)arre chup ho jao dono ke dono...huh!
5)theek hai ..theek hai..kya chahiye?

So , today we had
1) bag of potato chips 2)two icecreams 3)a pastry 4)a bottle of thums-up 5)bhel-puri 6)nestea
7)burger 8)coca-cola 9)Mc-Puff 10)icecream (again!!) 11)french fries
We left the place..with my tummy ache no better....!*sigh*
And i realised that i had to drive yet again in this heat...with my tummy hurting like hell... and the middle finger of my right hand bandaged...huh!

p.s.- sorry if u didnt find this post funny , you've got to witness our histrionics in person for that
p.p.s.-sorry if u didnt understand much of what i wrote , you've got to be a lil umm..funny for that .
Btw we're not that nasty and stingy....
we did pay for our share ok? we believe in goin dutch.....
.....when we fail to get namru to pay!!!!hahaha!

namru , you're very sweet...thank you yaar.....
.
.
.
khush??
.
.
.
ab kal treat dena tu!!!

HAHAHA!

Chanky, thank you yaar...aise hi hum dono ek hi team mein rahe....toh khoob aish karenge!!!

Btw , the conversations aren't exactly accurate cos i really dont remember who said wat....i mean of course namru was the one who was always protesting ...but mine and chanky's dialogues may have gotten mixed up...! lol!
For , those of you wh dont understand hindi...i'm sorry i cant bring myself to type out the translations of every thing we said...!!

You're the best...

2007-02-16T23:08:00.000+05:30

When I fall short of words,

what do I do?

You've always had the right things to say to me

If only..

I could offer the same to you...

ANKNA , YOU'RE THE BEST.

Is that all there is to a woman's life ?

2007-02-06T15:00:00.000+05:30

Is that all there is to a woman's life?
Whether you're a mother , daughter or wife?
Actually , its the look in those eyes
that raise a thousand questions in my mind...
that makes me distrust 'man'kind
In those placid eyes ,
There's a plethora of emotions
waiting to spill out...
Only a blanket of melancholy holds them back
But thats all thats needed to cast doubt....
As you wonder..
Is that all there is to a woman's life?
Whether you're a mother , daughter or wife?

Cos you dare not let those tears spill forth
For fear of eliciting scoff
For fear of being admonished
"Crying..thats all you women are capable of!"

No gender bias , is what they say
But its still a man's world
Cos its the women at whom
demeaning questions are continually hurled..

When there's no consideration & no respect
And life in itself is circumscribed
You can only wonder
what would've happened
had there never been any precept
by which to abide..

And finally when the tears give way to effusion
It makes you think that maybe..
Its a moment's weakness that lays the foundation for a crippled future
But then again ...maybe not
Maybe that moment of weakness was evoked
by the hope for a better tomorrow...
The hope that fails to give in...

Its Lettuce !

2007-02-04T21:21:00.000+05:30

So?
What's the big deal , you'd say...but apparently the guy behind the counter at Subway begs to differ.
An hour or so , back i returned from Subway and i do love the food (read sandwiches ) there but of course i'm not writing this post to discuss the menu....there are far more pressing matters that beg my attention...so read on...
So , yes, here I am looking chic and smart (as always ! ha!) , looking like an intellectual à la mode ( ok , ok I've lavished enough self -praise upon my craving self... haha!) and i walk up to the counter and this is an excerpt of the conversation:

Me : Make it one chicken teriyaki , one chicken meatball and one chicken hotdog...all six-inches.
(No dear readers no....I did not consume all of it alone....but dont let that make you think that I aint capable of doin so! hahah!)

Guy: *nods*

Me: We'll also have cookies and mountain dew to go with it...

Guy: Ok
*pause* *I look around*
Guy: Would you like all the regular sauces ma'am?

Me: ( Why sweets , would you like to serve me anything special? ) Yes...
Ummm..No cabbage please....

Guy: .......................

Me: What?

Guy: *Smirks*Its lettuce , ma'am ..
*smirk smirk smirk*

Me: *Cough* Lettuce ! *smartass huh!*
Oh yes ..of course... I mean.. no lettuce , please..
*smartass smartass smartass*
.
.
.
.
.
What???
Shredded lettuce and cabbage look alike , you know.....
.
.
.
Oh c'mon.....stop laughing your ass off..... that is , if you aint smirking yourself!

A new template , an incident and movie reviews!!

2007-01-30T23:01:00.000+05:30

Hi there people..!
As you've noticed , I now have a NEW TEMPLATE..!!!!!!!! yay!!!
Ok , i'd picked and selected and fell in love with this template ages ago....but had to edit , modify and introduce somethings to make it a little more personalised.AAaaand as everyone knows i suck at computer languages including html which was why it took me ages to finally change the template .And no , im still no good at html but i shan't forget those who helped me understand lines and lines of mind-boggling gibberish . Not that I couldn't understand any of it by myself , there's something called common sense as well. Yes , so Silvara , was the one whose blog i visited and discovered blogskins and chose my template and i must've asked her a 100 times how did she go about doing blah blah blah.....and i almost feared that if I were in front of her she'd give me an earfull but of course , she didn't .Oh , and Apoo ....the computer and/or s/w wizard/ genius/whatever who would come up instantly with the link of some self help html websites almost magically when I'd ask him something .....life saviours those sites were...!!! Thanks, guys!

Now , there's one thing thats been bothering me although i tried to push it to the back of my mind and ignore itbut its something that got me thinking about people in general and their way of perceiving things. Not that it bothers me in a big way , its more like the buzzing of a fly that I can't ignore.Ok , maybe thats an overstatement but I know and realise the fact that I'm not perfect .No one is .I know what my flaws are ...at least most of them anyway and the fact that other people , people whom i hardly know , consider themselves wise and perceptive enough to know how I feel and in return feel sorry for me...yes sorry . Yup , thats right . Sorry. You may just dismiss this as one of those things that I'm taking too seriously .But no , I mean just imagine , something thats part of me , my personality , is something weighty enough to compel sorrow from someone who's a complete stranger and sorry is the last thing that it makes me feel . In fact , it disturbs me how easy it is for others to judge someone and dole out shallow remarks with such unconcern.Even though it may have been done unknowingly , i really dont know what to say....
Now moving on to other things, I watched Salaam-e-Ishq and Guru with a gap of a day in between. And heres the verdict:
Salaam -e-ishq is nothing but frivolous crap.All i liked was the Vidya Balan -John Abraham track.what was the director thinking by the way , casting 6 couples in a movie with a story that has no head , no tail???? And of course he couldn't quite do justice to any of the separate tracks/stories.

But Guru , Guru , Guru is really worth watching . Amazing movie , most of the songs are pretty good and of course Abhishek's acted really well. Even Aishwarya was good.

So thats basically all for now...and since quite a few of you have aske dme to update and do so more frequently , lemme tell you , that I shall definitely continue to fill you in on my life and times !
Till , then , take care and be good...!

p.s. whats this label stuff all about , by the way?

Its ok...

2007-01-25T02:07:00.000+05:30

When the tears storm my eyes again....
And needles stab my heart
When I'm floundering in absolute darkness
Trying to hold onto something...anything...
For support....for hope
When I feel worthless for no reason at all...
Or maybe for just too many reasons....
And I'm tired of making myself laugh and talk...
And there's finally nothing left to do....
And in the end ....its only the tears
That offer solace
Perhaps it really is ok to let it all out....
To break down ...
And get drenched in the torrential downpour
Cos you dont really always have to
Live up to the image of being jovial
And funny..and gregarious and
And... carefree........

Saying bye-bye to blogger's block...!

2006-12-26T21:13:00.000+05:30

HELLO!!! Ho ho ho ho ha!(that was a big , big Santa Claus like hello , lol!)
Hope you all had a wonderful christmas...!
Now , there is something serious that I wanna talk about.I have noticed that..................................
I have been blogging lesser and lesser.
Earlier I was like really busy plus internet at home wasnt working!
Although now , I'm suposed to be busier cos of my upcoming exams but somehow I always find the time to surf the internet and read blogs .
But I do not write a post for my blog and i have loads to write about. Maybe its because of the fact that I'm can be really lazy at times or maybe its writer's blockthat I've finally encountered or maybe I'm just so bored of this candy-pink template or maybe its something else.....
(I'm scared of specualting out loud that maybe , maybe the enthusiasm has lost a bit of its initial spark)

I remember how , when I had initially started blogging , I would post an entry twice or thrice a week.And well , its a fortnight today ...and no new posts...!

It makes me think of why I had started this blog in the first place. There were lots of things that prompted me to start blogging .
#1 I love writing and I write well. (Ok ,I definitely do not epitomise modesty ..ha!)
#2 Writing is cathartic for me.
#3 I thought it would be a fun way of recording events in my life.
#4 Sooo many other people had a blog....and it was cool. Hey, now dont go screaming "copy cat" ok? cos I was inspired by other bloggers , I did not copy them .

I also always kept reprimanding Yashika and Neha when they wouldn't update their blogs for too long.And sadly , I now feel like I've lost the right to do so. But i shall still scold you.
Guys , UPDATE your blogs for goodness' sake.
And I'm also reminded of how I'd feel when some of my favorite blogs wouldn't be updated for a long time.Sorry to make you guys feel like that every time you visit my page these days.

But no , I have now decided. I shall blog often.I will blog often. I will definitely blog often enough to fill you in with my endless random rantings and emotional , angry outbursts and tummy aches and freaky people and my poetry and weird dreams and on and on and on......I dont have to hyperlink everything silly..I know you're smart enough to locate the archives .Ha ha.
So since its taken me considerable amount of my precious time , especially when I'm supposed to be studying , so I sincerely hope these links shall keep you entertained in case I fail to stick to my decision about blogging more frequently.
Now , don't worry. I shall be back very soon.Expect a post regarding new year's and well, till then take care and enjoy the remainder of 2006 !!!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of busy schedules , certified freaks and marriage...

2006-12-12T23:03:00.000+05:30

Hey hi everybody..!
Its been really long since i last blogged. More than a month .Phew..! Except of course for the previous post...
Theres lots to talk about...but a warning! this is again gonna be a post without any central theme or topic....read at your own risk..

Topic #1 Why I hadn't blogged for so long.
I was busy people. yes u heard me right BUSY,...! dont be surprised ok? ***cough cough***
(internet at home wasn't quite working)..hee hee..
Yep watever ..but I also was busy busy busy studying studying studying... for a change ha!
I couldn't believe it . I was actually sleepin for just 4-5 hours at night ...would be up at 5am with my head buried in my books....(nevermind that i'd fall asleep again , an hour later hee hee)
but if u know me , you'd know what a great achievement it is for me to actually get up that early and study ...cos the last time I stuck to all my rigid time-tables and study schedules and followed them religiously was back in grade X...
I think my inability (which I hope to conquer) to get up early in the morning and to persistently ignore more than 10 alarms going off at blood-curdling decibel levels deserves a separate , special blog post. * yawn*

Topic#2 Certified freaks are NOT welcome.
Tell me people , tell me . Tell me the truth. Get ready for a smack, a karara thapad in case you are foolish enough to say yes .Is this what is written all over my face :
"Certified freaks , this way please"
I do not understand why and why , of all people ,do I get to deal with the weirdest of all. Such a rich collection of namunas. Mainly guys. And thats what frightens me . Am I that bad...? No ways.. honey! I'm good , I'm conscientious , I'm courteous (yeah like .01 % of the time) and I'm way better than you. So I wont let good-for-nothing wannabe metrosexuals stamp all over my pride and self-esteem.
PERVS.
I'm sick and tired of rolling my eyes.
I have decided to honour perverts and other freaks by awarding them with the distinction of being "A Certified Freak".

Enter the Hall of Shame
*begin drum roll*
The freaks enter...
Mr. G
Mr. Anon
Mr. D
.
.
.
Ok thats the no. of freaks for now.
Here I was, chatting with Yash , telling her about a guy called G. Thats what I shall refer to him as.
Ok there was sumthing that upset me ..and I was actually first chatting with Ankna.....and there she was tellin me "Hey relax ...dont let it get to you ..." but no , I can be real paranoid at times. I call up yashika ...and spill my guts out and she goes like " Kya certified freak hai yaar! "
Ok now that caught my attention....
Here goes a BIG hug and thanks to anku n yash for always being there.

Ok Now , there's this Mr. Anonymous who's been kind enough to comment on my posts .
Comments thats are objectionable.
And comments that I couldn't care for any less.
My , my what's the world coming to .

MrD . I dont know you , you dont know me. Wow! So you wanna know more about me.Ooooh! I'm soo thrilled.Thrilled? Thrilled, my foot. You think you're a dashing , cool metrosexual , nay? I'll tell u what I think.I think you're a Beckham wannabe , donning John Abraham like sunglasses , thinkin you're lookin uber cool ..when actually you look like a fish that's been drenched in water...(ok thats kinda ironic) and left out to dry. Yep so I'm NOT flattered when you approach me. Rather it makes me doubt my own personality. But no , women everywhere please listen up ....most men aren't really worth your self doubt.So never ever let a useless freak of a guy come and trample your confidence and self -esteem. Short or tall , thin or fat , dont deprive your deserving selves of all the good things in life for those men who aren't worth all that.
Get married , get into a relationship , but be S.M.A.R.T. Yep , Oprah , that line'll stay with me forever. Thank you.
Certified Freaks, please use their head or someone else's and Q.U.I.T.
Although that shall lower your esteemed status in the Hall of Shame but you shall be eligible to apply for the "Improving Freaks" category.Hope you make it.

Topic #3 Marriage and me
I watched this Oprah Winfrey show which basically centred about how not to lose your self in the process of sustaining or sculpting a relationship and/or marriage.
And the big question mark in my mind regarding arranged marriages got even ... bigger.
An arranged match or not , every woman deserves to find a guy who respects her for the person that she is , without stripping her independence and freedom just to feed his own ego.
Yep , be a man , in the true sense and throw your chauvinistic tendencies out the window and lock that bloody window.

Topic#4 Explanation
Ok now reverting to topic #1 again , the fact that I hadn't blogged for quite a while included the folowing reasons:
1) busy schedule
2) writer's block
3)tensions, frenzied phone calls to anku n yash
4) laziness
Why I am blogging now:
1) hadn't blogged in ages
2)had lots to write about
3)read Mahi's post.
I think that says it all .Thank you , Mahi.

P.S. Thanks all for bearing with me. Hahaha.

Therefore , I Pray.

2006-12-05T23:30:00.000+05:30

When I look up into the sky,
I see a million stars...our Sun is just one.
It makes me realise that we are just specks in the Universe.
It gives me reason to believe that there is something somewhere ,
that I can turn to.
Therefore , I pray.

- APJ Abdul Kalam

If only...

2006-10-28T15:54:00.001+05:30

If only ..
It weren't all written in blood...
My eyes ,
These tears would never flood.....

Coming outta my shell with a diwali update and a movie review..!

2006-10-24T20:40:00.000+05:30

Hey there everyone .Hope you all had an awesome diwali..!
A lot has been happening..and no , you dont wanna know all of it.
So well , diwali is my favourite festival..simply because I love lighting diyas...and I love the way all houses look all lit up with little diyas...lending it a splendour that is almost hard to believe...and it makes me feel wonderful...I love it when its 6-30 pm ..its dark and I'm in the balcony lighting diyas...and the wind caresses my cheeks and blows through my hair and the glow from the diyas light up my face...and I look around and see a city rejoicing in the festival of lights...the burst of starry sparkles from rockets and the deafening boom of the ladis , the sweet shops thronged by people , the entire city comes alive and the celebrations just leave you enchanted.
Yesterday we guys decided to meet up before our hols get over...and I go meet Yashika and Tunisha....and well, yes Yashika , yes its true me and Tunisha did manage to gobble 4 (small)pizzas and 2 bottles of coke. And no , no Yash no , the pizzas were fresh and not leftovers haha
(sorry , if you couldn't get it ..., a personal joke that was.)

Coming to other things I watched , Jan-e-mann ...Yep the movie that got released on diwali and no , I am not a fan of Sallu , I do not lust after Akshay (he's not lust-worthy :p) and I'm not in awe of Preity's dimples...so obviously I wasn't planning to go for this movie.Don was what I wanted to watch...but couldn't get the tickets.
Now , coming back to this movie ..I have just one word for it.FRIVOLOUS.Yes , that is what this movie is.Whimsical , frivolous , this movie's a great way to waste your time and money (on tickets and popcorn) . Do not , I repeat, do not go for this movie even if you get to watch it for free.Its the worst thing after Anthony Kaun Hai in the category for movies that look to be pretty good or atleast worth a watch. And of course preity zinta just takes the cake for perfecting her act of the estranged , single , working mother braving the bitter winds of dejection and rejection , looking at male chauvinists in the eye , before finally finding a nice husband who's either boy#1 who's completely metamorphosed into prince charming once more or someone else.Kya kehna , Chori Chori Chupke Chupke ,Salaam - Namaste , KANK , and now Jan-e-mann. Preity , you act well and you know it, so please for goodness sake , give us a break.P.L.E.A.S.E.
Coming to Akshay kumar.Why is it that bollywood has this propensity to portray studious , hardworking (maybe a little geeky) people as bespectacled , clad in clothes that I doubt anyone would wear these days , complete with crooked teeth and braces ? Only one advice. GROW UP Bollywood.
Then comes Sallu baby , I'd say his character has just an iota plus one difference compared to all other roles that he's played...! Muscle flexing , machismo - oozing guy (minus the shirt) who first loses it all and then embarks on a journey to get back everything he lost.
And by the way , whatever happened to Anupam Kher.That wonderful actor has been reduced to a midget named Bonny Singh and all efforts at humour only manage to draw a little half-hearted laughter from me.
And so what happens when Sallu loses Preity and tries to hitch her up with Akshay with help from Anupam Kher , and finally realisation dawns on everyone that no , no Sallu and Preity are made for each other( but hey I already knew that , so that makes me smarter than you) , is a movie that makes you think once more that why on earth would anybody waste time and money and energy on something so devoid of everything that makes a movie worth a watch.

I.Simply.Rock.

2006-10-05T23:15:00.000+05:30

Needles of pain
Are stabbing me again…
You don’t deserve my trust,
Because the bubble has burst…
I wish we hadn’t met ..
So there’d have been no room for silent regret..
I wish I could change things
And then I wouldn’t have to bear the sadness that it all brings…
I wish life had been different
So that I wouldn’t always have to relent
I wish , I wish,
I wish for so many things...

Thank you , thank you for the compliments. This poem ..penned down by me today itself , completely describes what I’m feeling.So don’t blame me since I’m going on an ego boosting spree.. cos I think I need it ok..? All judgemental people may leave.
Now, everything has to get screwed up…over n over again. I've said this before and I'm saying this again-
What the hell kind of a screwed up life am I living by the way…?
All those thoughts of escaping are again storming my mind…
One thing starts goin right and another is on its way to getting all screwed up…..
So well lemme begin by saying that I may not be perfect but I am good.Very.Very.Good.
I’m not a cheap , multi-faced chameleon changing colours at the drop of a coin….ok? Gotit..?
I rock . I.Simply.Rock.
Yesterday I got up 1 hr later than I was supposed to and had around 35.47 minutes to get ready…but I managed to get ready , put on my lenses , eat a lil’l , find an ironed shirt in my cupboard ,which seemingly has more junk than wearable clothes,.. and managed to grab my books and other stuff…..plus also managed to race my way through the traffic….and reach on tim. Plus I managed to survive more than 12 hours on nothing but 1 glass of millk and a little rice that I’d had in the morning,thanks to a seemingly endless practical that was followed by walking in this harsh , sweltering , scorching heat to get pages photocopied , followed by a work-out that evening and also studies…ending the day finally at almost midnight.
So all in all… I ROCK..? Gotit , smartass.?
U know what… the phrase “the cosmos conspires” just keeps going through my head .Its something I read in a poem back in class IX …Anyway….this seems to befit the situation.
Plus I have , on my stay on this lovely planet occupied by not so lovely people.have finally reached the conclusion that most people out there are conniving , selfish chauvinists and egoists.. hiding behind a façade and using manipulative tactics to have their own way..….but know what I’m smarter than u…whether u like it or not..I can see right through your not-so-greatly coordinated act . Pity pity..! I despise you ! Oh yes I do!

My first tag

2006-09-28T23:02:00.000+05:30

Hi there ppl...so yes as the title suggests this is my first tag (ok so I made Silvara tag me haha!) So u get to know a lil more about li'l things concerning moi..!And its an open tag so all those who wish to do it...then well go right ahead..! there's an X before all the things i've done..and the other brackets are empty ...so all u have to do is copy and paste the thing and edit the X's ...
And oh yes..i tag Yashika .
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car (no thank you , i drive well)
( ) stolen a car
( ) been in love (hmm..still waiting..;))
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
(X) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
(X) had a crush on one of your Internet friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) eaten sushi
( ) been skiing-snow or water
( ) met someone from the Internet
( ) been at a concert
(X) taken painkillers
( ) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party (dont remember ...who cares anyways..?)
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school ( yep , i was the one who was snoring)
( ) used a fake ID (i dont quite remember)
(X) watched the sun set (the last one of the previous millenium)
(X) felt an earthquake (yep...twice or thrice)
( ) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled (and begged to be let free..haha)
( ) been robbed
(X) been misunderstood ( c'mon ppl...its not latin n greek that i speak...jus a few self-coined meaningless jumble of words...;) u ought to understand)
( ) pet a reindeer/goat/kangaroo
( ) won a contest (i have this notion firmly planed in my mind that somehow these contests are all biased n everything....ha!)
(X) run a red light/stop sign ( hehe!)
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
(X) felt like an outcast/third person ( people ,i crave attention so look this way please..!)
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(X) liked the way you looked
( ) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned your heart ( and got more questions in response )
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished mud through your bare feet (no thank you , i'm a hygiene freak)
(X) been lost
(X) been on the opposite side of the country (i looove travelling)
( ) swam in the ocean
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep ( so many times..)
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons (The last time i actually used crayons must have been around 6-7 years back)
( ) sang karaoke
(X) paid for a meal with only coins ...(i think so..)
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (i'm in luv with laughter, remember?)
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain (how bout playing football in the rain..?)
( ) a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone roller skating
(X) had a wish come true (but i'm still waiting for the barbie bathroom set..ha!)
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them (i do not fall in love with complete strangers)
(X) kissed a mirror (i'm self-obsessed..hahahha!)
(X) sang in the shower
(X) had a dream that you married someone ( counting all such dreams..i must have married 2-3 times..)
(X) glued your hand to something
( ) kissed a fish
( ) climbed a water tower
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs ( i miss school days)
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(X) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours (not nonstop tho)
(X) stayed up all night ( and slept at 6 am)
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree ( not without washing it)
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(X) been too scared to watch a scary movie alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes (how i wish..!)
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school (cant quite recollect)
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
( ) been pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(X) told you're hot by a complete stranger (how about beautiful eyes..?)
( ) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed ( is this wrt the khushi ke aansoon (tears of happiness)?) (X) cheated on a test
(X) forgotten someone's name
(X) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub/river
(X) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house
(X) loved someone so much you would gladly die for THEM ( i still do)
( ) cheated on someone
(X) talk to yourself when noones around ( how do u know..?)
(X) hate someone you once loved
( ) love someone you once hated

Paradise

2006-09-19T18:01:00.000+05:30

Maybe they're just lies
but I don't wanna be too wise...
I'm happy when you say
I'm beautiful..
And that in my eyes..
you find paradise....

Talk to me

2006-09-17T22:22:00.000+05:30

What if there was no lie
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life
What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong

::What if by coldplay::

I'm listening to coldplay and there’s a lot I wanna talk about but i’m not sure if I wanna go ahead and talk about it.things seem to be moving at a languid pace..or is it just me.., cocooned in my own mirrored world where all I see is me until I come upto that one supposedly faulty mirror which is actually a window to the outer world..and I stop.i stop in my tracks..who am I ? where am I ..? where do I figure out there..? is this me..?
have the people around me changed ?
have things changed ?
or
have I changed..?
did I ask for it…?
My rational self urges me to shout out loud…”I sure as hell did not”
But a part of me begs to differ.
Talk.
Talk to me.
Fear.insecurity.narcissism.passion.ego.power.desolation.pride.chauvinism.
Nope. I sure as hell ain’t saying that I’m a walking-talking exemplar of all the afore-mentioned attributes…
Fear.its here ,its there ..its everywhere.its in you .its in me…and lemme take the liberty of saying that fear plays a pivotal role in decion making. feel free to disagree if you wish too..cos I couldn’t care less…
The only solution I see is to attack fear head long…just look it in the eye and overpower it before it overpowers you…
I’m in one of those moods…hope you dimwits get it…but if you don’t ..then I feel sorry for you..!
Before I lose control and write all crap…I may just as well..sign off..
bah!

I've recovered

2006-09-09T21:25:00.001+05:30

Please note -
Last test was today...
Finally the horrid stomach ache gave way to poly bags full of semidigested foodstuff thrown out by my revolting tummy...! yes I puked my guts out...!! stomach aches and my tummy are having one nice affair .. I somehow managed to sleep at 2 am....and got up at around 5-30 am to get back to my microbio books....hmph! and by the way may I mention that I swallowed exactly 8 tablets plus 2 hajmolas plus 2 antacids not to forget one home remedy plus applying a balm .....all this to absolutely no avail....!!!I'm beginning to think that maybe it was tummy ache #2 rather thantummy ache #1....I've been eating out a lotttttt....!yep all the pao-bhajis and colas and noodles and raj-kachoris and this n that bling and blang ...all that junk food is the culprit.....but anyways now I'm fine , thank you
p.s. I've lots to write about...but right now I'm feeling just too lazy to do so... but thou needn't worry cos this aint gonna be a long wait..... :D

My tummy-ache-prone tummy...!!

2006-09-06T21:15:00.000+05:30

arrrghh!!!! i'm having this useless , uselss tummy ache thats driving me mad.......ok ..so for all those ardent fans and followers of my blog lemme specify that this is tummy ache #1
i gotta a microbio test tomorrow..and this tummy ache wont let me study......man oh man..! what do i do..? ive jus studied one topic ppl jus the bacteria....the viruses and fungi and algae beckon....but this stupid , stupid tummy ache is making me wanna scream out LOUD ..!!!!! aaaah!!!!

thats it for now...cant type nymore.......pray for me...!

p.s.- for all my fans out there who're worried abt the cry-cry baby kinda posts that i've been writing ..lemme let u know that all is well in laughter-land...the tears have dried up ..,the waters have receded ..and there is sunshine again......

THIS BLOODY STOMACH ACHE .....! AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm crying..I'm crying..now..

2006-09-04T14:11:00.000+05:30

I’m crying …I’m crying ..now …
The tears are flowing freely…the bubble has burst…..
I’m drowning…in this torrent of tears …..
The rains are storming my life ..everytime…..interspersed only by rare periods of sunshine…
I can feel the familiar pain rising in me..threatening to engulf me....
How long can I fight....its easier to just give in ...to the tears.., to life...
…I wanna escape..
I wanna run and never wanna stop…

Feelings expressed...

2006-08-31T00:15:00.000+05:30

Is it any wonder?

a little cold,
a little betrayed,
a whole lot fresher,
some part decayed...

a little happy,
a little hollow,
so much peace
in exchange for sorrow...

a little bit of hope,
bittersweet as it is
wasn't the fairest trade
but I settled for this...

a little to forget,
a little to forgive,
a whole lot to remember,
reminisce and relive...

courtesy : Drops of Jupiter

This is with reference to the Disgusted post ...ok so i tried to pen down whatever i was feeling but i found it hard..words couldn't quite capture what i was feeling...i was hurt , angry , crying felt cheated and confused all at the same time...and it all had to happen just a day before my b'day...and then I go visit Jups' blog...( thank you sweets) and I read this poem that she's penned down...and its as if she met me and spoke to me and penned down my state of mind in her words..literally... and so here is the poem...
Ok so u shall notice a few lines that I have typed out in bold italics..cos these are the lines that are like 200% accurate...the rest being 100 % accurate... :)

I sometimes wish it would be easier for me to stop thinking abt those who've hurt me the most..to stop reliving old times..and stop caring ...but what do I do ? I'm only human...
I know at times I can be cold as ice and rigid as a rock...
And I know that I have an indomitable will...and if only I choose to exercise it fully and completely will you understand the true extent of it
And you know what...

I may forgive but I'll never forget.Never.

Happy birthday , beautiful...

2006-08-28T10:16:00.001+05:30

happy birthday to me , happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to dear me.....happy birthday to me...

yes ppl yes...come forward and shower this diva with gifts and presents..and seek her blessings on this special , special day.... woo-hoo....!!

I'm still in a bitter -sweet mood ...the moments seem to crawl by......there's this tingling in my stomach.....my hearts doing flip-flops...i haven't felt this way in a looong time....so i'm jsut revelling in the mood of the moment....
a little sugar ..
a little spice...
guess who's looking cute n nice...?

haha .....a silly little thing that was...
but again....its just me......

I feel a little drunk..
a little silly...
a little lost...
a little happy..
lift me up in the air...
the castles in seventh heaven
I wanna stay there...

woo-hoo...tee-hee...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME..AGAIN...!!!!!

Disgusted

2006-08-27T19:44:00.000+05:30

I'm angry ..I'm in one hell of a temper...my fingers are trembling...I wanna cry out in rage...! I wanna cry...my heart's twisted in a painful spasm of frustration and dismay and betrayal and shock and downright disgust... .And here's a big GET LOST to all you proud owners of dimwitted cerebrums, 2-faced....cheap chameleons , ..out there.....! YES you heard me right a big big GET LOST !!!
...
...
...
I need you A ....I need you to come give me a tight hug...
I need your shoulder to cry on...
I'm alone..all alone...
My heart's twisted in a spasm of longing...
I love you A, I miss you ...

I think of.....

2006-08-27T00:34:00.000+05:30

It feels….
Bad at times to say goodbye
you know that a goodbye means a long wait
But a long wait means looking forward to meeting that special someone again…
Its nostalgia that grips me..
I revel in the bitter sweet mood of the moment ….
I revel in the reassuring embrace of my loved one
I think of all beautiful moments when I’m lying alone in my bed..and sleep eludes me…
When its just me and my memories
A little sugar , a little spice..
I think of the humbleness and humility of my those closest to my heart…
There may be a lot of bad..but there much more that’s good..
I think of how much a hug , a smile ,a little gesture can say..
I think of those eyes ..
I think of the childish chatter….
I think of how things will be ten or twenty years down the line..
I think of how uncertain life can be..
I think of the games that life plays…
How one moment we can be laughing a child-like carefree laughter….pure n sweet..
And how the other moment things can go topsy-turvy..
I think of how much I cherish so many moments where im in the moment …living thru it..and I know that it is some thing that’ll stay etched in my mind forever…
Something I know ill think of in the years to come..
I think of how we may misunderstand so many people….
I think of how denying myself an extra kebab or an extra bar of chocolate didn’t really make me feel wistful
I caught myself before I could feel completely so…and I decided to just enjoy the moment..
I truly truly wish the best for all those dear to me..
I think of the fact that tomorrow is the last day of my life as a teenager….my 20th year starts day after tomorrow
I know that years later when I read this entry again..I’ll remember how I got a lil confused as to whether turning nineteen means the end of your teens and stepping into the 20th year or not….
I think of how my life would have been had I been born as someone else…
I think of a lot of things…
Lots of splashes of colours on the canvas of my life…
I’m trying to figure out the bigger picture…trying to form some kind of recognizable image from the colours that have seemingly been carelessly sploshed on that canvas that’s my life…
Trying to see how the colours blend into one another to form a beautiful portrait I call life…, my life...

Random Things Part 2

2006-08-23T20:55:00.000+05:30

Heya long time….i just felt like I have to blog about something..and u know what this might be a very long post……and a very random one too…this n that ..bling n blang..hence the title…and yeh read it only if you've nothing better to do

Random thing # 1
I told myself ..
That I wont miss you..
And its not you that I miss..
Its your touch…
Courtesy saltwater blues..
The above lines just keep going on and on in my mind…I read these lines for the first time…and somehow it struck a chord..its simple and yet has such intensty..without any metaphoric jargons..it just feels so close to your heart….these lines run thru my mind all the time…..during lectures…while driving…when in the shower…all the time…

Random thing # 2
Funny habit # 123 : tall cute girl’s showering ..its 7 am….and and she laughs and laughs and laughs like crazy..laughs her head off…and you know why cos all sorts of funny things come to my mind when im showering…..every and any kind of funny incident that happens.. somehow the images flash in my mind while im in the shower..and I burst out laughing ..clutching my stomach and laughing away..

Random thing # 3
Coming to talk about stomach…..i was just reminded about that post I wrote about tummy aches….and their love for MY particular stomach…and also how you guys just kept laughing your ass off..huh!
That’s the sympathy I get from my frends haan..?

Random thing # 4
Something …
You’ve got something I cant resist…
Relax ppl relax..i typed this line cos this line from shakira’s song c/a something..was just playing in my head…I did warn you that this post is a random random one….ha..!

Random thing # 5
Tall cute girl’s birthday is coming…now when I went bday shopping..i didn’t quite get anything I liked .and when finally I checked out every shop in the city did I find dresses of my choice…so with tht problem solved I have another problem on my head…which outfit do I wear on the big day….?
I now have new black trousers…new capris…new yellow white kurti…new light blue shirt… new red knitted top…new white n pink shirt ..new black-silver-grey tshirt…..
So if u guys out there hav any suggestions on what I shall wear ….pls feel free to comment…

Random thing # 6
WHY THE HELL don’t I get down to studying…? Whats wrong with me..?

Random thing # 7
There’s this girl in coll ok…lets call her P..so whenever she'd walk by and if i'd happen to look at her and there wud be something thatwud kind of disturb me…u knw like the feeling you get when u wanna itch ur arm but u cant quite figure out where exactly the mosquito bit you…so well I finally realized that this girl even when walking all alone …sported a kind of smile…not a full fledged one..but a kind of umm..half- smile….with a look in her eyes that I cant quite describe…and it seems like she has some sort of info or secret that no one knows about ..and she’s just enjoying the fact that she is the sole holder of information no one else has……yes that’s the look….

Random thing # 8
I sometimes think about how superficial and absolutely pretentious people can get…there are people who’ll tell lies with more confidence than they’ve ever spoken a word of truth with…ppl who've been told off a 100 times for their stinkin attitude…I think some of them probably are miraculously unaware of the fact that IT SHOWS that they’re nothing but well a bunch of people desperately seeking attention….well..you all SUCK! And knw what u’d understand this if only you didn’t have the attention span of a 2- year old….

Hmm… on that note….I’ll sign off… tee hee..!

Learning things big and small...growing up..

2006-08-15T00:59:00.001+05:30

Stayed over at my cousins’ place for a few days…..coming back home today I realized that home is after all home …home sweet home …no matter what….its just the feel of it …the smell of it….
I have also come to realize that I do have soo much ……forget about the shortcomings ..i am actually beginning to enjoy my life and take things with a pinch of salt… I love my parents even more…
I think I am getting more responsible..u knw…
Is it called growing up…?
Iv begun to realize that we just cant afford to take things for granted….
That life should be enjoyed every moment every bit of it.. cos u never knw what happens tomorrow…
Im also learning a new language…..
I think I really have grown up quite a bit in these past few days…
Little moments that make life so much more beautiful….
Moments that I wish I could hold on to forever without having to let go of…
Moments that I relive late at night …lying in my bed…when sleep eludes me…and I feel suddenly happy and joyous ….and at peace ….serenity and tranquility prevail….
Read up on a lot of femina magazines..old and new…
Has it ever happened to you….that you read a line a verse here n there ..and it just gets imprinted in your mind and goes on and on sometimes….here are some of them..

A girl can wait for Mr. Right to come along ..but that doesn’t mean she cant have a great time with all the other guys she meets …
Cher in Femina

I promised myself
that I wont miss you ..
And…
Its not you that I miss..
Its your touch…

Courtesy saltwater blues

My li'l cousins are lovely adorable angels…whom I hugged and cuddled all day long…they’re just..so sweet and innocent…and pure…and in their eyes and smiles all I see is how lovely gods creations are…
How absolutely lovely it is when a 5 yr old cutie-pie hugs you early in the morning and murmurs child talk into your ears
Sat with one aunt late into the night with coffee..and watched tv …
Sat with another and started learning a new language..

As we grow we begin to realize that teachers ar not just found in schools..
Read this in Femina
And I completely agree..
Its amazing how much little moments can teach you……

And well I went on to think about how ill look back upon all of these things fondly later in life….
Thought of how uncertain life can be….
Thought of how old ill be and how old my siblings will be 10 yrs down the line….
Thought of how ill probably tell them how they were when they were lil toddlers…
Thought of how I was as a kid…shy …very shy
Thought of how I've grown in so many ways ..of how I am as a person now..

Happy Independece Day…!!!
Proud to be an Indian …

“I didn’t know my baby had grown up so soon...”

2006-08-06T23:51:00.000+05:30

Went shopping today …..dunno why after that when I was seated in pizza hut I jus wanted to cry…I was suddenly frustrated and tired and fed up of everything….once again all I could think of was what kind of a screwed up life am I living by the way..?it was one of those times that I felt like crying but I knew once the tears started they wouldn’t stop…..one of those days when I felt like my self worth and self esteem had diminished…to levels that sent me down an unending abyss of frustration and sadness and a helplessness to change the things I really want to ..things that are the way they are by no fault of mine… thinking again..of all the now lost excitement for my upcoming birthday thinking…”what a wasted life..?” and with my mood off……I spoke rudely to my mom….and I jus explained my mood saying that I get restless and impatient and that I should rather shop all alone …….and then followed silence and what followed silence was
“ I didn’t know that my baby had grown up so soon...”
that’s what my mom said…and that’s something I think I’ll remember many , many years later and that’s what made me realize…..
why the hell am I spoiling things just cos of a silly mood swing..?
why on earth am I treating my mom this way…for no fault of hers..?
why oh why…?
No matter how old I get I know that I'll always need my mom…..
Need her to wake me up in the mornings..
Need her to remind me that I’ve forgotten to put on my watch..
Need her to force me to drink milk every morning….
Need her to tell me that my jeans are washed and ironed and are on the bed….
Need her to remind me to take my lab-coat along..
Need her to ask me if there’s enough petrol in the car..
Need her to ask me if I’ve charged my cell phone..
Need her to remind me to take my medicines on time..
Need her to scold me about doing things at the last moment
Need her to accompany me to the beauty parlour
Need her to tell me what haircut would suit me
Need her to come along for shopping
Need her to advice me on clothes and fabrics
Need her to force me to help around the house…
Need her to remind me about that book ive got to return
Need her to reassure me that things are gonna be fine
Need her for the great food she cooks…
Need her to oil my hair
Need her to cover me with a blanket when im fast asleep
Need her to tell me whether or not I look fat in that navy blue skirt..
Need her to tell me that proper sleep is important..
Need her to hug me and cuddle me when im crying
Need her to force me to eat well
Need her to teach me how to cook
Need her to give me all the advice she gives me
Need her to tell me that I need to be courteous and polite..
Need her to protect me
Need her to tell me what's right and what's wrong
And most of all I need her affection ..her unconditional love
Happy friendships day mummy…!
Cos you’re the one who’s been there with me right from day 1…holding my hand …teaching me how to walk and run…………and now I know that I was trying to run away from you ..in the wrong direction….but im here…running back into your arms…….!!!
The sweetest thing is that she first said happy friendship's day to me..after observing me and wondering why on earth was I behaving the way I was....
I love you , mummy...!I really do!!!

Sorry but the world does revolve around me..!!

2006-08-01T22:33:00.000+05:30

Yes ppl , I can get real real narcissistic…I have umm certain propensities…if you please….go on …ppl read it ……………………….

Habit #1 Tall cute girl’s walking down the aisle in a department store/shopping comlex admiring things arnd…..she walks and walks and walks….and STOPS…! Whoa… she stops and admires what she’s just seen………she’s staring intently ……she stares and strares and stares….at HERSELF in the MIRROR , all yellow lights accentuating her features……concealing her flaws………..she stares and stares…..left profile…right profile……hair….eyes..make-up….she looks at the mirror and ppl look at her…….*gulp* ahem..oops! her hand grabs the first skirt/shirt wateva off the shelf and flouncing it here n there..pretending to see if the dress suits her…… and shoots ominous looks at all those who look at this tall cute ….*ahem* slightly crazy gurl……GO AWAY all u non- priyanka-admirers…..huh! now I don’t care where that mirror is..i mean be it in a super duper shopping complex…., the mirrored walls of a 5-star hotel……even tinted windows of a parked car…haha………go on laugh at this poor lil girl whos in luv with herself….

Habit#2 Tall cute girl never leaves her house without cell phone and wallet and watch and other essentials….for all those ignorant ppl out there….OTHER essentials are’nt secondary in ANY way……and lemme explain …. I carry a kit which has 1) mirror 2) comb 3) lens case 4) scrunchies/clips 5) gloss 6) compact powder 7) kohl…….8) safety pins and other junk.

Habit #3 Tall cute girl is a hygiene freak.

Habit #4 Now this isn’t exactly a habit but nevermind… tall cute girl’s real disappointed ever since…*sob sob*…tall cute girl enters lab with excitement….streaking did u say…. Yes yes…today she'll finally work with those bacteria…..*rubs hands in excitement..*
But jus before that….her teacher says “how many girls have long nails…?”
Tall cute girl raises her hand apprehensively ..
Teacher “ all of u cut your nails ..no more long nails……ull be working with microbes in the lab…..keep your nails short…”
Tall cute girl…goes home and clips away her nails……..Imagine this superstar sans her long beautifully painted nails…..arghh! My fingers look stunted….!
Out the window go my plans for a French manicure….
But hey on the brighter side…..I can still have beautiful toe nails and get them pedicured at fancy salons………hmmm…….

Note- Tall cute girl cant wait for her birthday…!!! Get the gifts ready ppl..!
Tall cute girl dreams…clothes, shoes , accessories, etc ,etc hmm…trips to malls must begin…..pronto!

Have you ever ....

2006-07-31T21:59:00.000+05:30

Have you ever wanted to cry so badly that tears wouldn't come to your eyes…?
Have you ever cried so hard that in the morning you find your pillow wet with tears..?
Have you ever been soo angry that you wanted to scream and cry in rage…?
Have you ever been so angry that you open your mouth but silence is all that you hear..?
Have you ever laughed so hard that your cheeks flushed red…and your stomach ached..?
Have you ever wanted to laugh so much that you actually looked for a reason to laugh..?
Have you ever been so sad…that you wanted to escape it all?
Have you ever been so sad that you jus plunged your self head long into tackling away all those problems..?
Have you ever felt like you were fallin down an unending abyss and nuthin could save you..?
Have you ever felt that you were falling down an unending abyss and and you didn’t want anything to save you..?
Have you ever felt so restrained that your own emotions were imprisoned in your mind..?
Have you ever felt so restrained that you wanted to let go of it all in a sudden outburst of pent up emotions..?
Have you ever felt soo jealous that you turned green with envy..?
Have you ever felt soo jealous that you didn’t quite know why exactly you were jealous..?
Have you ever been soo frustrated that all you wanted was to run away…?
Have you ever felt soo frustrated that you felt too weak to run away..?
Have you ever been so much in love that you every thing you saw reminded you of that special someone..?
Have you ever been so much in love that everything reminded you that u that there’s indeed a long way to go..?
Have you ever been so nervous that u were absolutely tongue-tied..?
Have you ever been so nervous that you jus blurted out everything that came to your mind..?
Have you ever been so scared that you ached for someone to hold you and hug you tight..?
Have you ever been so scared that someone’s touch virtually froze you to death..?
Have you ever been so upset you just wanted to talk to someone..and cry your heart out..?
Have you ever been so upset that you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk to anyone and cry your heart out..?
Have you ever been in such deep trouble that you thought it was the the end..?
Have you ever been in such deep trouble that you were living only ‘cos u knew it would end..?
And have you ever been so happy that u felt you were on cloud nine..?
And have you ever been soo happy that you wished you could forever stay where you are…a small speck on this planet admiring the silver clouds floating up above you..?

Unwanted guests, marriage and me

2006-07-23T21:41:00.000+05:30

There are lots of things that irritate me……and you know what the biggest thing is? Its havin bin-bulaye mehmaan (uninvited guests) at ur place ….as well as the bulaye mehmaan (as in ppl invited by ur parents some of whom I have not an iota of interest in meeting)
I mean for godssake….!!!!!! In all these years of my existence on this planet I’m sure my parents must have figured out how lazy I am …and jus how stubborn I can be……so how come they expect me to help around with the dinner preparations for the guests I just don’t wanna meet…I mean just imagine…..sitting there with astupid , silly smile plastered on your face……back straight, hands on your lap….answering every stupid, silly question with a stupid, silly smile and expected to jump to your feet everytime a guest makes a stupid, silly demand.
“Oh my…..you’ve grown soo tall..the last time I saw u, u were this small……”
The stupid ,silly smile is still on my face…and I nod my affirmation..Now exception is , that if the same thing is said by a guest I like then I’ll flash my million dollar smile and think of how cute I was back then and how much more cuter I’ve become.
“Aapki beti kitni badi ho gayi hai…(oh your daughter has grown up) we’ll soon have to find a groom for her….”..and the aunty goes on to chuckle
With another stupid , silly and falsely shy smile ,I roll my eyes..and then glance around fearfully to make sure nobody saw me…now exception is that if the same thing is said by someone I like then I’ll definitely go on to express my love of wearing exquisite expensive sarees…..and that I don’t quite mind looking for a rich ,hot, handsome and intelligent guy who’s madly in love with me …aaand who loves me for the person I am.
Now there are guests who’ll say “ Arre aapne itna sab kuch kyon banaya…” (meaning..”why did u take the trouble of preparing so much food” and then they procede to gobble it all up..with 2-3 helpings..and leaving without as much as a compliment….or a thank you….
Another thing ….why on earth am I expected to immediately bond into a friendship of a lifetime with each of my dad’s friends’ children. I mean for gods’ sake …….!!!!!!!!!!!
My dad wud say “ hey this is uncle’s daughter/son say hello…why don’t u talk among urselves…You’re more or less the same age na..” And mind you same age can mean an age difference anywhere b/w 1-10 years

Now I really feel like I’m all tied up ….and suffocating …with a scream on the verge of escaping from my gloss-bathed lips….everytime I speak in that false, false tone with sugar dripping from every word ..
Now mind u ..its not ALL the guests that bother me…ok ?…Its like I’m glad truly glad when somebody whom I really like and wud love to talk to anytime comes over ….or if im meetin that somebody after a real long time also some of my parents friends are really interesting people whom u enjoy havin a meaningful conversation with..but its those “vella” type guests that I dislike…..But ppl whom I like, I’m not at all pretentious with them…..I’m jus my same old spontaneous ,laughing self and u’ll knw..
Coming to talk of weddings , whenever I happen to a go to a wedding or any other wedding type party(I hope u get it)….I can really feel ppl eyeing me…eyeing me as a prospective bride…I mean sure ppl I’d love to get married to a rich and handsome and intelligent guy……but I can surely do without having to feel like something on display in the marriage market…I mean yeh im tall and cute aaannd single but u know what…I’m in no hurry to get married…Btw why is marriage considered to be the sole purpose of a girl's life …I mean why is “settling down” synonymous with getting married…there are loads of other things that count…)and yeh ..I do wanna get married to a rich- hot -handsome-intelligent guy…cos marriage means a truckload of lovely exquisite sarees…and lots of occasions to wear ‘em ……not to forget that I shall b the center of attention…( I love myself and am materialistic, hence proved)…..

P.S. I write this with guests in my house and me sulking …

P.S. None of the guests have got kids along. Thank goodness for that !

P.S. If you’re hot- rich- intelligent aaand single…..then……join the line sweetheart ..;)

P.S. yes ppl , yes , intelligence is a turn-on.

Random things....

2006-07-20T22:00:00.000+05:30

Things of note
1) getting my eyebrows threaded and tweezed and in perfect shape makes me feel wonderful people …makes me feel beautiful…………so much so that I look at the mirror every 2 seconds and admire my perfectly arc shaped brows…..
2) playing up my eyes with kajal whenever I feel like it…also makes me feel great..simply great…………..
3) combing and styling my hair every 5 mins also makes me feel happier..irrespective of the length of my hair…..i.e. to say I used to do so even when I had a boycut …!!!
Having said random things ….lemme move on to other random things…..
- did a blood test t0o ….”did” as in doing an agglutination experiment during pracs today and no not that wala blood test which u get done at a diagnostic clinic
- why doesn’t it rain ..why oh why…..?
- I don’t even have the time to go thru the newspapers….
- Aaand before u say anything lemme tell u that I am good at managing my time….
- I don’t feel like watchin movies…why don’t I feel like watchin movies..?
- I'm expecting someone’s call and tht someone wont call…damn you, ‘someone’-
Relax ppl , be patient...lemme explain....Thepreceding para in is italics cos i typed it yesterday but did not put it up here ......now its been 24 hours more or less...and well there have been quite a few changes....
-today i excitedly put on gloves in the lab ..but hey all that excitement vanished when i realised that we are to scrub and wash and clean petri plates and test tubes and beakers and conical flasks.....yes ppl yes the ones that are used to culture microbes...
-it rained ppl it rained real heavily today.....!
-i have jus enough time to glance at the headlines..
-i am still verry good at managing my time
-i watched golmaal today and knw wat.....i jus didnt like it.......
-i spoke to 'someone' :D
see see...soo much changes in jus a day but what wont change is my enthrallment with the mirror , my laziness :p aaand my being in love with myself.......

Beautiful Day...

2006-07-07T22:12:00.000+05:30

.Its a beautiful day …
I wish it would just stay…
The rushing breeze , I mean
Golden rays filtering through the screen
As I sit in the cool shade of trees
Sometimes its the music
A certain song…
Reminding you of the one for whom you long…
The one who came out of nowhere….
Who was always there
But escaped your eye…
Well , its not like he didn’t try….

It’s a beautiful day
I wish it would jus stay
The sunshine lights up my face
And again I think of that place
That day , that time….
Was it all part of a pantomime…..?

Its not love ..its not lust
Just a longing for someone she’s begun to trust….

She goes to him , for there is something he has to say..
Events and incidents flash through her mind…
Yes it does make sense….
The stares and glances
Were they mere chances..?
Its happens again…..
This time she does not refrain….
Their eyes meet for one fleeting instant
The spark, like an electrifying current

It’s a beautiful day….
I wish it would just stay
Now it’s the memories of another day….
With nostalgia ..they mingle and play…

She smiles and sings
And thinks of all the things…
Her face awash with
the radiant , rosy glow that it brings..
Its when the sun sets at dusk
That the feelings linger
And she’s left to wonder
Is the dream over yet,….?
But this isn’t one she’d like to forget…..

So she waits for another beautiful day,
Those moments make a home of their own
In a little corner of her mind
Where she knows what she’ll find
‘cause that corner when she visits
She finds little tid-bits
Of bitter- sweet memories
And she thinks of all those times she said ‘cheese’

A smile slowly lights up her face….
As the sun sets, only to resurface
With another beautiful day……

P.S. no ppl no , I'm NOT in love

Its all about me..darling...!!!

2006-07-01T23:10:00.000+05:30

Now now ....I know my fans have been waiting for another post ... Be patient people , be patient..! Haan toh , those of you who know me also know how narcissistic I can be ...and you will also vouch for the fact that I love myself ...despite all my flaws..(not that I have many hehe) I so love myself...its not like I always was like this...but its happened more recently u know...I no more wish to be like anyone else...(well atleast most of the time..)and so here is something Yashika wrote about me....now she says its almost accurate , I'll say its almost accurate ...so here it is...hold your breath people.....

After a lot of procrastination, I finally managed to get myself to sit down and write this testimonial for Priyanka. Yes, I had been procrastinating for a while now because the idea of penning down my views about this convivial person was a little overwhelming! Priyanka is a self-obsessed, 'materialistic' and jovial football-maniac, with a fascination for anything remotely 'handsome'(care to enlighten the world, dear gurl?!)
Met her in school and it's been five wonderful years of knowing her. A generous sweetheart, she's always open to others' views and advice. A budding engineer with a penchant for writing, she's a magician when it comes to words(a rare combo, I must say!). A person who will brighten any place with her mere presence, it's always a pleasure spending time with her. A balanced individual who has set definite priorities for herself …and a person with a confirmed enthrallment with the mirror! Loves posing for pics ! Put the idea of blogging into this mind of mine and also offered company in this wild pursuit! I person you can look up to for understanding and solace.Words betray me when I try to describe this wonderful individual…I'm just glad that our paths crossed once in this lifetime!
Love and prayers always… May you achieve what you desire for, cause I know you deserve it! -22nd june 2006 -05:10pm

Now I invite all those who know me to comment and compliment me and tell me wat they think about the way I am .....not that it'll change the fact that I'm in love with myself if you point out a few bad things about me...! But hey they're hardly any....ha..!

Aaaah! Why me yaar ..why me..?

2006-07-01T23:07:00.000+05:30

Now now... this post shall be about something that ails me soo much...to the extent that I am virtually frightened of it..ok so... dear T hold your breath.... yeh you guessed it right......its my stomach, people its my stomach...! yes...Now I think, that a stomach ache is a thing to be most feared of...forget nuclear wars ..forget global warming...forget just about everything....tummy aches are the worst of 'em all.. I shall now take this oppurtunity to highlight a few tummy aches that plague most of us.....

tummy ache #1 Now this is the ache that happens jus like that ok..without any rhyme or reason...just comes without warning .One fine day u're feeling nice and happy..and suddenly this ache comes on like a huge monster and ruins it all....so in this kinda condition all u can do is(read all I do is) crib and cry , to the extent that everyone around me really wishes that I get better,with my mom going on and on about how effective pudin hara is and how I must either take it or stop complaining.

tummy ache #2 Now this is the ache where you can actually blame your bad eating habits ok..not that mine are any good... :p..So well this causes extreme distress....along with frequent visits to the loo ..so basically all you can do is deprive yourself of all spicy, yummy indian dishes and consume only foods which I would call "baby foods" you know..all the khichdi and porridge ...minus the pickles...

tummy ache #3 Now now T be patient... I know you're waiting for this one...yeh yeh so last but not the least is the tummy ache that plagues us (read lovely young ladies) during that time of the month....So this is the time that every girl who has a bad bad tummy cramp cries and screams and throws lousy tantrums and rolls on the bed literally wanting to die and escape it all, curses everything n everyone..and just sulks.....and in extreme cases pukes and just wonders"Oh god why me... why me..?" For me...no painkiller is effective enough ...so here I am discovering my own techniques to get rid of that nasty pain....techniques which include..drinking a chilled, very chilled thums-up ....NOT takin any pudin hara(cos I always find it ineffective plus it leaves a bad taste in my mouth (read pudin hara flavored burps......eeks!)) another thing that I do is talk to T ...now T listens to me cribbing and crying..listens to me ranting about how I may not survive this severe severe pain....so this is , well, a typical conversation that T and I would have....

Me: Hello, T..?
T: hiiiiiii wats up..?
Me: aaaaaaaaaaaaah ...! why me yaar why me..? aaaaah!
T: ab kya hua....? tummy ache ? head ache..? koi aur ache? (I usu. call T and crib abt my various aches...)
Me: I have only one stomach and that too hurts like hell!
T: haan haan mere to chaar chaar stomachs hain naa..!
Me: you cow!!! (I burst out laughin, momentarily forgetting about the excruciating pain..)
Me: oh T....my stomach.....! I think I may not live to see tomorrow......it hurts thaaaaat bad...!
T: why dont u have some medicine...?
Me: (Now I have the propensity to avoid taking medicines no matter what...unless of course my mom forces a pill down my throat..) arre nahi yaar....kaun uthega aur kaun medicine lega.. chodo yaar...!! aaaah!
T: toh aas paas kisiko bolo ki medicine laa de...
Me: arre kisko boloon.....koi aas paas nahi hai..
T: where's the medicine kept?
Me: next room/ my bedside
T: OH GOD ...!!!! WHY DONT U GO HAVE SOME MEDICINE! else dont cry yaar.....(assumes a gentler tone...) look why dont u listen to your i-pod..?
Me: haaan...that might help...
Now me and all those who are affected by severe tummy aches at that time of the month , really pray that we wont have to go through it during exams ....so this is another converstaion I had with another friend of mine...
Me: hello.., ..P? aaah!
P: arre kya hua...?
Me: ab to kuch nahi ho sakta...!!!! aaah!
P: oh I see....
Me: why me yaar ..? why me ..?
P: I know....real sad..!
Me: I dont even feel like eating anything.....all these damn painkillers are sooo ineffective......
P: I know verry sad..! stomach ek usme bhi ache....(heehee)
Me n P: hahahaaaaaaa
Again i momentarily forget about my pain....

Now one thing that can ruin any trip is a bad stomach ache.....imagine sitting in the train opposite your mum....with a nasty tummy ache for company and all you can do is cry silently and give your mom I'm-your-baby-you're-supposed-to-make-this-pain-vanish-look , lest your wails and screams and tantrums become a source of entertainment for other passengers.....
And well the story goes on.....

PS: and yeah cows do have 4 stomachs ..

PS: hey T thanks yaar..for listening to me crib and cry and complain over the phone for hours about how I feel.......

PS:I write this post with my ear not feeling too well...Aaaaah!

posted by exclusively_me @ 2:32 PM 5 comments
TUESDAY, JUNE 27, 2006

PS: i accidentally deleted this post ..so guys please put up your comments again...!

How do I title this..?

2006-06-27T16:39:00.000+05:30

Have u ever had a dream which was so vivid , that it was almost true..almost happening in front of you ..to you...that when u open ur eyes ...u find ur lashes wet with tears....with a few more rolling down your cheeks...a dream so incredible that were it to happen in real life it would completely overwhelm you , stun you and shock you into silence..absolute silence punctuated only by your cries.....with her arms outstretched..trying to reach out and hold onto something that is no more hers...someone who is no more hers.....although deep down in her heart she does know that the life she lives is due to that someone....and she is being torn away from her very roots......she falls on the floor,her entire life crumbling to bits....and then again, those same outstretched arms trying to reach what has come her way....trying to figure things out....bringing upon changes so profound...they reduce the bold and outspoken girl to nothing more than just a child , drenched in tears.....raining down on her being...pleading with her eyes for someone to hold her and comfort her .... and when finally the tears dry up , the eyes are wide open staring into the darkness...thinking about the dream that was so vivid , it was almost real...being thankful for all that there is....and letting go of the longing for all that there isn't......

My First Blog Entry !

2006-06-26T22:15:00.000+05:30

Hello everybody out there..!So here I am..I've finally arrived...!This blog is not just a forum for expressing my myriad views..and thoughts...but its much more than just that...its a window into my world...my life..and my mind..This blog will now be a host to the musings of a daydreamer.., a self-admirer, having a justified fascination with her mirror....this is me- a great orator and writer..or so i think...hygiene freak....book lover...!This is also an attempt to connect with myself , to analyse my thoughts and to figure out exactly who I am..to discover my self...!What first got me thinking of starting a blog was when i happened to come across someone's blog..and although we dont know each other personally..I'd still like to say thanks for introducing me to the world of blogs..!Now that ive actually started writing this first blog entry of mine...I'm wondering what to write about...I could go on and on about myself ..but I think it'll be more interesting if you try and figure out the person i am by reading my entries...!doncha think so..? Something tells me this is gonna be an interesting journey...! So everyone out there , hold on tight...the roller-coaster ride has just begun..!